Short term vs long term therapy opinions and experiences

[anthony]

Depression is a brand new thing for me. Suicide is not.

Explain past moods when suicidal.

Depression does not have to be diagnosed, to be there. A person can go from zero to depressed (suicidal) in seconds or minutes. Doesn't mean they suffer depression. The reason for dying is usually linked to the depressive episode being experienced. Then that mood can disappear just as easily.

 

[shell]

With out a doubt long term childhood trauma requires long term therapy, it took years to trust and years to really process what happened to me and to fix the maladaptive ingrained habits I had learnt from birth.

How do you fix what you can't see, it took years to see the way I functioned, or more inportantly didn't function. I was high functioning, but it didn't mean I was functioning well.

But in saying that, I also feel it is important not to become dependant on therapy as a way of getting through the week; at some point it's time to really start living and moving on from being caught up on focusing on trauma. I felt that the focus on my past in therapy kept me stuck there, since giving up therapy it's been a relief to move on.

I have recently had brief contact with one of my abusers after I was told she had stage 4 cancer, and my first impulse was to think I needed therapy again, I don't.

Long term therapy I felt was making me co-dependant and I can see that it would be very easy for me to fall back into that trap of believing I couldn't cope without talking about my grief.

A good therapist teaches us that we are capable, and can care for ourselves and gives us skills to manage the day to day realities of life. I can see now that I had a good therapist, one who supported me when I said I believed it was time I thought about finishing therapy and someone who taught me skills my parents because my parents were incapable.

 

[NightSky]

I was high functioning, but it didn't mean I was functioning well.

That's such a good distinction I've never thought to make.

I don't have any answers regarding long vs short term therapy. I saw one T for two years and quit because it cost too much and I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere. It just felt pointless.
That was 9 years ago. I now started seeing someone different for the last almost two years and the amount of "stuff" unearthed has been massive... just the attachment difficulties and trust issues and learning how all of the ways I cope have been so detrimental. It has taken this long just for me to learn what needs to be fixed. Not a whole lot feels "fixed" yet, if anything. So I imagine I've got some years ahead of me. I can't really sit here and say x amount of years is what I'll put in and after that I'm done. It's not a formula.
My guess is anyone with developmental trauma, c-ptsd, attachment issues, needs long term for corrective emotional experiences. Others who maybe don't need the relational component as much could put skills in place much faster and more efficiently with less bumps in the road.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

at some point it's time to really start living and moving on from being caught up on focusing on trauma. I felt that the focus on my past in therapy kept me stuck there

I felt like this was happening with my former therapist. I was/am really ready to move on and speed things up but she wanted to do things slowly. The first 2-3 months I did need grounding techniques. We did visualization and EMDR safe place. They were very useful and still are. However, after that, I had the resouces I need and I wanted to speed things up. I trusted myself and still trust myself that I am capable of dealing with difficult feelings and that I don't need to be infantilized by being overprotected by my therapist.

A good therapist teaches us that we are capable, and can care for ourselves and gives us skills to manage the day to day realities of life. I can see now that I had a good therapist, one who supported me when I said I believed it was time I thought about finishing therapy

Very important to have a therapist that believes in your strengths and really sees your strengths and teaches you how to use it instead of trying to fix you in a way he/she thinks you need to be "fixed".

I saw one T for two years and quit because it cost too much and I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere. It just felt pointless.

I am glad you got out of therapy that does not work. I think that the therapist should see if things are not working and refer the client to someone else who can help them better.

I now started seeing someone different for the last almost two years and the amount of "stuff" unearthed has been massive... just the attachment difficulties and trust issues and learning how all of the ways I cope have been so detrimental. It has taken this long just for me to learn what needs to be fixed.

You and I are at different points in our journey. I already knew a lot of my issues when I started therapy and I knew where they are coming from. The current psychologist that is very successful is very fast paced and got to the issues in the first session and he did it very compassionately. I just filled in a short online questionary that he asked me to fill in before I saw him. Based on that the moment I entered his office he knew what my problems are (self-esteem, repressed rage, towards my mother, lack of self-compassion, depression which I have been denying, somewhat passive aggressive anger style) and what I need to focus on. I did not have to spend few sessions just to tell him my history and to slowly reveal my problems.

That is why I am asking here to see other peoples' opinions and experiences. I think that maybe if people had a good therapist they would resolve things faster. I am not blaming here the patients at all or saying they should do it within a strict period of time. I am saying that perhaps very skilled and efficient therapist can move therapy way faster. The duration of therapy still will vary depending on the individual's skills, gifts, resources, and etc. However, I am arguing that the same person with one therapist might take 5 years and with another more efficient therapist 1 or 2 years.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

maybe if people had a good therapist they would resolve things faster.

However, I am arguing that the same person with one therapist might take 5 years and with another more efficient therapist 1 or 2 years.

I disagree. There is no way at all that any therapist could have gotten me out of therapy faster. The other therapists gave up quickly dropping me on my ass (not sending me to one that could handle it) and broke ethics, but I disagree that maybe another therapist could have gotten me out of therapy by now. I get this A LOT in my real life "you have been in therapy EIGHT YEARS! If you aren't better by now then you need a mental institution!" (So please excuse any passion here - I am not angry).

But you show me someone that went through exactly what I did and came out as functional as I did and is still alive and could do therapy faster. 8 years is nothing to me when I look at where I was and where I am today. It is so much based on trauma, coping mechinisims, other disorders, other illnesses, support systems or lack there of. Etc. I mean, SOOOO many factors here other then the therapist. My therapist only guides me. Yes, he does EMDR and other therapy but in large he is a guide or a gauge. I do all the work and man am I working at this!

So I don't think the therapist themselves plays as big as a role then you are thinking. Too many other factors that you aren't considering!

I would put a cap on it though, 3 - 5 years of therapy. If you aren't going it alone by then, either you're lazy, you're therapist is lazy, or both. In that time frame, you should have tackled the major points, you should have been doing a lot of self-help work between sessions, you should be capable of your own journey without the need for therapy.

I would politely disagree with you on that one. By year 5 I wasn't even able to see my past as anything but a "good christian upbringing". Honestly. It was a back and forth for a real long time. And he was rather creative of the ways he was going about showing me it wasn't.

My piviotal point him finding this site for me (creative). Before then, everyone around me, but my therapist, was also calling it "good christian upbringing". You only know green is green because you were told it was green. I said that to my therapist and he said "yeah, but when I got around everyone else and they told me it was green, or wasn't this color but that, then my view would change". That was before he found this site.

So 5 (ish) years were basically wasted I suppose but people say "EIGHT YEARS" when they have no idea of all of the circumstances. Way more goes into it. Way more!

 

[Suzetig]

However, I am arguing that the same person with one therapist might take 5 years and with another more efficient therapist 1 or 2 years.

How would you prove that hypothesis though? I've worked with various therapists at different point, most of them have been short to medium term, i.e. 6-20 sessions and my current one is long term.

After each of the short term folk I did think I was "cured", which to me meant I had deal with my obvious distress and was less symptomatic. The episode that took me into therapy this time though was pretty major - I knew short term, CBT/skills based work wasn't going to cut it. My T is very well qualified, very experienced and is supervised by someone who is an internationally acknowledged expert in my type of trauma. We also have a very strong, therapeutic relationship and the work has been slow and steady.

I don't think *I* could do this work any quicker than I am regardless of how skilled and experienced the T is. In going at my pace I've not had the flooding, dysregulation and over-activation that often comes with trauma work, nor am I remotely dependent on her. She uses her skill and experience to work at a pace I can cope with and still be in work and running a home etc because I simply can't take time out of life to blast my recovery in short term, more aggressively driven therapy.

It's ok to say you need what you need, it doesn't mean that others need or could cope with the same thing. That's not to say there aren't some very ethically questionable therapists out there and if you look at my posting record I'm the first person to question inappropriate long term, dependency driven therapy. That doesn't mean all long term therapy is dependency driven.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Very well said @Suzetig! That is my current therapy as well, slow and steady but most important, moving foward! As long as they are moving foward then who cares how long it takes?

Add with that, everyone takes a different pace at learning the skills they need and ACTIVELY applying said skills to then be able to cope alone without said therapist.

 

[Friday]

Explain past moods when suicidal.

Impulsive action : Calm. Almost but not quite euphoric.
Death-wishy : Determined, mostly. Sometimes rage, or joy, or chippy.
Escaping (physical) Pain : Nada. Just 10/10 pain.
Triggery stuff : see above
Acute Grief : loss, sadness, &/or impotent rage

This time around it's totally different. Instead of rage, it's despair. Instead of action it's immobility. Instead of excitement it's anxiety. Instead of grief which changes shape over time it's pervasive and unchanging sadness. Instead of cold & hard, it's numb & idk...spineless? All the structural integrity of a jellyfish. Instead of mental agility, it's fog. Instead of being fiercely alive, it's... Wasted time. Instead of determination, it's uselessness. Instead of explosive, it's implosive. :wtf:

I'll go with being f*cking nuts first time through, but I wasn't depressed. At least not depressed as I've ever heard it described, or come to know it.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

How would you prove that hypothesis though?

I don't intend to prove it. The goal of the thread is to share and discuss opinions and experiences.

It's ok to say you need what you need, it doesn't mean that others need or could cope with the same thing.

I am not telling other how to cope or how long to take. I already clarified this earlier:

That is why I am asking here to see other peoples' opinions and experiences. I think that maybe if people had a good therapist they would resolve things faster. I am not blaming here the patients at all or saying they should do it within a strict period of time. I am saying that perhaps very skilled and efficient therapist can move therapy way faster. The duration of therapy still will vary depending on the individual's skills, gifts, resources, and etc. However, I am arguing that the same person with one therapist might take 5 years and with another more efficient therapist 1 or 2 years.

I think you are taking it very personally and you want to prove me that I am wrong when my intention is not to be right or wrong here. From your post, you benefit more from a long-term therapy because you've had a severe trauma that has left a long lasting effect on you that will take a longer time to be resolved.

 

[Suzetig]

I'm not taking it personally nor do I want to "disprove" you - my experience is different to yours and I'm ok with that. Having asked for others experience and opinion of therapy, you seem to disregard anyone who says they needed long term therapy. So, while you've said you're looking for other experiences and opinions, you actually appear to want ones that agree with you. I have no issue with saying many people who experience a traumatic event can be fully healed with short term therapy, in fact the vast majority of people with PTSD recover without access to therapy at all so I'm not an advocate of long term therapy where it's not needed.

The idea however, that those who have continued in long term therapy are there because their therapist is less skilled or experienced, or that a more knowledgable therapist would have got them through sooner is erroneous, in my experience. Which is what you asked for.

 

[joeylittle]

@UniversalBeing - please see the administrative thread regarding image posting.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

@joeylittle thanks. This is the administrative thread I found:
Administrative - Posting Images: When Its Ok, And When It's Not.

Basically, it is due to potential copyright infringement. I can respect that.