I haven't read all of these responses but some of it makes me feel bad because I am well in long term therapy i believe now 10 years with my current therapist but i did not jump into my trauma...i also have an eating disorder so it was a lot of in and out of hospitals at times and i had to get stable there as well as dealing with really severe ptsd and anorexia and anxiety and depression. i have come a long way i was told i would do nothing like not live on my own not have a job etc. now am a head teacher in a toddler room at a daycare and live with a roomate all because of the work with my therapist and yes it took 6 years for me to really begin talking about my trauma and then more shit hit the fan just this year that lead to me to disclose more trauma i hadn't before and now there is more work i have to do. my other trauma was handled poorly when it was first disclosed so it shut me off more from talking about it and i am not a big talker it takes me time to trust as well so i had to test my therapist before i was ready also had to be stabalized in other ways so maybe different situation but she always believed in me and i don't think she just wants my money she truly cares and its an important relationship to me and it helps me learn to trust and know its ok to talk about my things and makes me believe i am worthy when everyone else in my life doesn't...she is teaching me to reach out to friends and be social like ia m in a book club, i play softball, i see friends but i still need therapy i am by no where in a great place now but that is new stuff that came up and really my therapist is not money hungry she charges me less than her other patients because of my money situation because i need the therapy and she is wonderful she has made a huge difference in my life. she fights for me to keep me on my moms insurance writing letters to her insurance company and keeping me on SSI which i will still probably lose as i got a raise but she fights for me to get the help i need to live my life but with help. i need it to cope i need someone to talk to i cant talk to most people about what ihave been through its just not normal conversation and people just don't get it.
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Short term vs long term therapy opinions and experiences
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@hermione, you shouldn't feel bad about a therapy approach that is working for you. I would consider most of the sufferers that post here as having a severe mental illness (largely because of the permanence of PTSD), and I don't think that the article was written for us as the intended audience. Parts of it might be relevant to someone with PTSD's experience, but there isn't something wrong just because it doesn't. I'm not saying that it's a bad article, but it wasn't intended to be precise or serve as medical advice.
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D
Deleted member 28942
@hermione the article is an opinion article and the thread is a discussion thread about members opinions and experiences. The article does not argue that long-term therapy is totally unnecessary. Instead, it argues that most people would benefit from a shorter term therapy that is focused goal oriented and from agressive therapists who will push them to achieve their goals.
Also, the intention of the thread is for people to discuss the effectiveness of different therapist that they've tried.
You have comorbidity and severe - I am guessing childhood - trauma. You need longer treatment.
Also, the intention of the thread is for people to discuss the effectiveness of different therapist that they've tried.
You have comorbidity and severe - I am guessing childhood - trauma. You need longer treatment.
Actually, I think I'm changing my mind and now saying that it is a bad article. I instantly didn't like that he linked severity to diagnosis, which is factually incorrect. Severity exists on a continuum for each diagnosis. I was giving him a pass because of the word limits that come with newspaper publication, but I think I was being too generous.
The more I think about it the more questionable I find his arguments based on his own experience. The author's patients are going to be much more privileged than the average therapy patient. Statistically, there are not that many people with schizophrenia to receive therapy, but it is also highly unlikely that they're going to be going to see someone in Manhattan.
Here is when I Googled to see if this was a fair judgement, and it really is. The guy is a media commentator and life coach. He does have a practice, but based on the description that he wrote himself, he isn't seeing a lot of people with severe mental illnesses.
I know he does back up his claims with some empirical evidence, but I'm not exactly persuaded that this he's giving an accurate picture of the research that has been done on the matter.
The more I think about it the more questionable I find his arguments based on his own experience. The author's patients are going to be much more privileged than the average therapy patient. Statistically, there are not that many people with schizophrenia to receive therapy, but it is also highly unlikely that they're going to be going to see someone in Manhattan.
Here is when I Googled to see if this was a fair judgement, and it really is. The guy is a media commentator and life coach. He does have a practice, but based on the description that he wrote himself, he isn't seeing a lot of people with severe mental illnesses.
I know he does back up his claims with some empirical evidence, but I'm not exactly persuaded that this he's giving an accurate picture of the research that has been done on the matter.
lostforgottensoul
VIP Member
@hermione, you and I have simular issues (though I have never had any eating disorder and do not pretend to know how hard that may be to recover from), we both took a long time to tell our therapists about our trauma (it took me a year), it took us both a long time to build trust (years for me and I also have a VERY hard time trusting!), and it has taken us both a long time to work through many issues. Stolkholm Symdrome (advised I had SS by my therapis) took me a VERY long time to work through. It took me years to see my past as anything besides a good christian upbringing and a very good childhood with very loving parents and I refused to see anything at all was abuse let alone sexual and physical torture nor could I see it as a cult (which it was).
My point is, I would want this author to clone several people with my past (or any severe trauma really) and issues and you show me that the majority can benefit from aggressive therapy and come out on the other end after just a few years at most. Not saying none of those clones would but the majority would not. I have no support at all in real life as well which really factors in as well. And if my therapist was agressive that would have caused me harm, I believe, as my therapist, still currently after 8 years, needs to choose his words very carefully usually giving a disclaimer and making sure I fully understand said disclaimer before giving any view or opinion that is possible, in any way, to be taken wrong. I mean, he is still super careful with words, his views and opinions, and even research or facts. Many times he picks up his phone or laptop when I am speaking, not to be rude, but to bring up research on a fact that he is about to say. If I see good research then I do not question it.
I think most of that comes from the years of back and forth, like a court room, of him trying to get me to see that I was indeed abused and I was shooting off my own "gun" at him, which was complete dead defense of my mom & step dad. Those with Stolkholm Syndrome come to the defense of their perps including in a court of law. And in my case, rip the person, that is saying bad things about them, apart. It was like I was a rabid dog (Cujo) mauling my therapist's face. So today he still chooses words very carefully and gives disclaimers and research and facts before giving me a challenge to my thinking per his views, opinions, and facts.
And considering that my family and their drama took a few years of my therapy as it took that long to be taught how to back away from them and actually do it, it suprises me that it has only been 8 years!. I see no way at all to have done it again in a shorter time span and cannot agree that agressive therapy will get people through faster and, if my therapist was agressive, it would have sent me backwards. That's how I see it!
Couldn't agree more and then trying to apply HIS experience to everyone else (or at least a majority), which is incorrect. Do we, here on the forum, allow someone, speaking from their experience, to push that on everyone else? Then why is this guy allowed to do that? And then those against one pushing opinions, based on their experience, on others here on the forums agree with him. That's contradicting!
My point is, I would want this author to clone several people with my past (or any severe trauma really) and issues and you show me that the majority can benefit from aggressive therapy and come out on the other end after just a few years at most. Not saying none of those clones would but the majority would not. I have no support at all in real life as well which really factors in as well. And if my therapist was agressive that would have caused me harm, I believe, as my therapist, still currently after 8 years, needs to choose his words very carefully usually giving a disclaimer and making sure I fully understand said disclaimer before giving any view or opinion that is possible, in any way, to be taken wrong. I mean, he is still super careful with words, his views and opinions, and even research or facts. Many times he picks up his phone or laptop when I am speaking, not to be rude, but to bring up research on a fact that he is about to say. If I see good research then I do not question it.
I think most of that comes from the years of back and forth, like a court room, of him trying to get me to see that I was indeed abused and I was shooting off my own "gun" at him, which was complete dead defense of my mom & step dad. Those with Stolkholm Syndrome come to the defense of their perps including in a court of law. And in my case, rip the person, that is saying bad things about them, apart. It was like I was a rabid dog (Cujo) mauling my therapist's face. So today he still chooses words very carefully and gives disclaimers and research and facts before giving me a challenge to my thinking per his views, opinions, and facts.
And considering that my family and their drama took a few years of my therapy as it took that long to be taught how to back away from them and actually do it, it suprises me that it has only been 8 years!. I see no way at all to have done it again in a shorter time span and cannot agree that agressive therapy will get people through faster and, if my therapist was agressive, it would have sent me backwards. That's how I see it!
Couldn't agree more and then trying to apply HIS experience to everyone else (or at least a majority), which is incorrect. Do we, here on the forum, allow someone, speaking from their experience, to push that on everyone else? Then why is this guy allowed to do that? And then those against one pushing opinions, based on their experience, on others here on the forums agree with him. That's contradicting!
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Friday
Sponsor
@Nessa7 While all diagnoses absolutely exist on a spectrum, my understanding of the article is that he's talking about "therapy" for perfectly healthy, neurotypical people, with bartender problems (I don't like my job. I don't like my girlfriend. My husband doesn't pick up his socks.), as opposed to people with any kind of diagnosis -or serious problem- whatsoever.
So it's very much comparing apples to oranges; Bartender Problems vs Trauma Therapy for PTSD. Much like comparing an elementary school nurse's office (mostly healthy kids with a bit of a cold, a skinned knee, forgotten homework, and the occasional asthma attack or low blood sugar) with a pediatric burn ward; and extrapolating that the years of medical treatment, surgeries, & physical therapy severely burned kids need is total bullshit since most kids only need a few rest and fluids & will be right as rain in a couple days, and some are good to go in minutes! Just give them some crackers, a band-aid, or a puff on their inhaler & voila! Back in class!
If he is speaking to people that are neurotypical, why not say that? It's because he has short-term therapy to sell. I don't think that your summary of the overall concept of the article is wrong @Friday, but this bit is the part that I was specifically taking issue with:
Here, severity is absolutely linked to a diagnosis. If he means that his advice is primarily for people without a mental illness, he should have written that instead.
Here, severity is absolutely linked to a diagnosis. If he means that his advice is primarily for people without a mental illness, he should have written that instead.
My therapist also believes i have stockholm syndrome in some ways do to the way my abuse was and i protected my abuser for a long time and also am protecting my brother as well but this was before that came out and its hard to deal with those issues i am not sure she would say the same but she did say she believes i suffer from that as well and yes recovering from an eating disorder is very difficult and i am not there yet but i have come a long way but if it was short and aggressive i don't think it would have worked for me and our relationship is also teaching me about well how to have healthy relationships with certain healthy boundaries and things like that. i am sorry for your situation but yes it is very difficult to work through those things like stockholm syndrome which i didn't realize i had but it makes sense to certain things of one of my abuse situations i had to also see my abuser as bad and hurt me and he didn't care about me as i convinced myself and he convinced me that he loved me and stuff its all a lot to work though and now with new issues that have come off it is going to take more time. my therapist is like it was like a missing piece to the puzzle but she believes i can heal from it and now that the secret is out it will help me more. my psychiatrist who i have only seen for like a year and a half now believes if anyone can get me through everything i have my current therapist can because she is beyond awesome. and everyone's situation is different but long term is what i need.
thank you i understand what you are saying yes i have had other issues i believe everyone has different experiences and need different things my situation is complicated for sure ...
lostforgottensoul
VIP Member
Yes this too! I don't think I touched on that. My therapist isn't just using our relationship to teach that but used his immediate family as an example of how what "normal" family is and what happens and what doesn't inside of a "normal" family. At 28 yrs old I honestly thought that what happened was normal and ok and most certianly justified. It took a very long time for this imagery to take ahold in any way. It was a very long time of him telling me a story of something that his kids did and asked me how I thought he and/or his wife should have handled the situation or reacted then told me how they actually reacted/handled the situation and then asked what I thought of it and why and we worked that way but that was also a back and forth for a long time.
He also used research and the internet to help the with it. Looking up key terms and showing me their definition, why he saw this term in my past and then a whole slew of research on that term. Also taking a long time, especially since it took a long while and consistency and persistence to get me to see these things as they really are. This displayed itself here on the forums for the first 3 months I was here. It only took 3 months because the entire site just about was saying it rather then just my therapist and other real world people agreeing with me.
And yes, our relationship (which I view as more father/daughter type now - especially since his daughter is exactly my age) is the best example of a healthy relationship and I can sort of practice with him. Practice reacting correctly or not reacting, setting boundries, playing around with boundries, and being comfortable enough to set boundries. I push at boundries to allow me to see them and learn how to adhere to them and learn to set some of my own and practice sticking to it and doling out consequences for not adhering to my boundry. I am learning how to be in a relationship without sex. Even a friend relationship I would attempt sex (even if the other party is female. Gender has no bearing there). And it is safe to do all of this in there but all of it took a huge amount of time and we are still in the middle of it. Rushing and aggressive wouldn't have been good.
I hope I didn't go too far off topic but my point is the entire point of the article is a fully mute point. Some do benefit from an aggressive style straight to the point therapy. I and many others do not. That is why you should be steering therapy to a point and it is why length does not matter as long as you are moving foward. Getting stuck is also a part of therapy. I was stuck for an entire year of my therapy once.
There are bad therapists out there. I of anyone certianly knows that but that is why if therapy with that therapist isn't at your correct pace (either direction) and if you are not getting what you feel you should be (either direction) and if the therapist isn't agressive/forceful enough or too agressive/forceful then you need to end that therapy and go with another therapist.
That said, just because someone has been in therapy with the same therapist for 8, 10, 16 yrs doesn't automatically make that therapist bad or not good enough or not agressive/forceful enough nor does it make the person lazy or stuck!
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I spent so long being stuck like literally so long it takes time sometimes.i think for me this approach is best and i trust my therapist more than anyone and i am learning a lot and she does teach me skills i just don't always listen lol...it takes me time to find the right things to help me and i have found some like i journal a lot now like my exact emotion and why as i struggle to find words a lot even in therapy like i will be quiet and say not much so we go to my journal and i thas my feelings and thoughts and it helps for the session even after 10 years i need this. it helps me identify my emotions and like she thinks it helps me rationalize them sort of like i can be like i am adequate not just bad i have a whole list of emotions to choose from. just takes me time to find good coping skills i am also very stubborn...lol not helpful in eating disorder recovery either which i am not recovered working on it and just disclosing some information now its like starting over in a way...
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