Should I Date A Psycho?

[tasha07]

Okay,

So not that long ago, i posted a thread "i am not my illness" which is fine on a good day. But wtf horrible on a bad day. I have been with my partner for 3 and half years, i read somewhere that people with c ptsd, have a tedency to have a doormat syndrome (i dont want to offend anyone i just read it on a ptsd website) and i thought, yes thats me.

So i have been with him a few years and he cheated, lied, emotionally abused me, almost everythijg you can think of, 6 months ago i went f*ck you goodbye. Then he went to jail and wrote me the most beautiful apologetic letter, admittibg he was abusive and controlling and vowed to change. My problem is that i know he has antisocial personality disorder so the lying wont stop even if everything else does. So i want him but dont? Do i date someone with another disorder?

Not trying to be judgemental but he put me through hell, and i just dont know. Sometimes i think okay this is as good as it gets for me, i should be grateful that anyone loves me, other times im like no o can get better than this, i should expect respect???

Please help

 

[twinkle30]

The key characteristic of anti social personality disorder is that they cannot feel empathy. So no I would not date this person. If you have children he will cause them to also have PTSD with his abuse.

 

[Neverthesame]

If the lying won't stop, how do you believe anything?

Because he admits to some bloody obvious things?

Honestly. "f*ck you, goodbye!" Should stay the last thing you said to him.

 

[Casey_03]

My problem is that i know he has antisocial personality disorder

If he has antisocial personality disorder, him lying is the worst of your problems. You should be more concerned about him either killing you or getting you killed, or you winding up in prison because of something he's implicated you in. I think you already know the answer to your own question

Do i date someone with another disorder?

Do you find that you can only date people with disorders? If so, you shouldn't be dating anyone at all, in my opinion. At least not until you are able to stop treating yourself like shit. Why is psycho guy in prison anyway, if you don't mind my asking?

 

[Flossy]

He may well have Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well. There are many great forums and Youtube videos that you can educate yourself on these personality disorders and learn how to recognise them early. Eventually, you will see that recognition of this is the time to run like hell.
Try staying single for a year to two years and learn about yourself. What food you like, how you feel good to dress, movies, music, types of exercise, types of entertainment. Make a journal of these observations and make it the journal of your personality. Early on, when you meet someone, even a girlfriend, if they denigrate any of these things that you have discovered are YOU, tell them that is not acceptable. If they do it again. Walk away. It's only hard the first three times and then you will get good at it and be proud of yourself. Life is hard enough with a##holes in your life. Let them go find someone else to manipulate and bully. Writing a letter admitting to fault does not equal definite change, It is a manipulation tactic. Dont fall for it. It's bull##it.

 

[Lucycat]

I am not sure I like the title of the thread. We are all here for being 'psychologically damaged' in one way or another so to use the term psycho is somewhat offensive.

As for questioning whether you should date someone with a disorder - any disorder, well it will be hard to find someone without any label whatsoever, even if they are mentally healthy.

Should you again date someone who has been abusive to you, and has been to jail and you have already parted from? - absolutely not. Stay away and find someone who treats you as you deserve to be treated. Clearly you do not respect this guy, so what grounds are there for a relationship?

 

[twinkle30]

Lucy the reason it is titled that is because in psychiatry there is actually no one titled a psychopath but there is anti social personality disorder. This is the disorder people who the general public would view as psychopaths are diagnosed with. The key thing is that they cannot feel empathy.

 

[LostGentleman]

Do not date someone you would jot want your daughter to date.
Because he will be "her father".
She will eventually "date him".
The better your standards, the better life you will give her.
She will see her value by looking at you. And we set our own value.

You can save her
She is counting on you
She believes in you

And so do we

 

[Fadeaway]

I was married to someone who was diagnosed with Anti-social personality disorder for 12 years. I was clueless of what that meant at the time. I thought it just meant that he was a bit of a trouble maker and didn't do well with society in general. Keep in mind iI was only 16 lol. I tend to consider myself an expert now.

I thought he was caring, told me everything I wanted to hear, and thought it was sweet that he would cry over touching moments. I now know he can make himself cry on cue, and that he was just an incredible actor.

See that is the thing with sociopaths, they are excellent when it comes to reading people They watch how empathetic people respond and then copy them. They also can pick up whatever you are feeling no matter who hard you try to hide it, and they exploit it. They are the best sales people in the world. They can sell anything to anyone.

Then he went to jail and wrote me the most beautiful apologetic letter, admitting he was abusive and controlling and vowed to change.

That is their specialty. They have a talent for writing or saying beautiful apologies that seem so full of emotion, but they don't mean a word of it, they are only using information they know about you that they think will create the deepest emotional response in you.

Sometimes i think okay this is as good as it gets for me, i should be grateful that anyone loves me,

The work hard to make you feel that way. You feeling that way is their goal. He, in essence, manipulated you into feeling that way so that you stay. He deliberately and methodically planned hi actions and his words over time to manipulate you into feeling that way. The longer he has you in his grasp, and the more aware his is of the fact that you feel that way, the more dangerous he will become. And yes, sadly that often ends in death or disfigurement for many women.

 

[tasha07]

Hi, i havent been able to read all the replies at once,

The last thing i read was that it may be offensive to call someone a psycho, i think that was by lucycat, i just want to say i dont want to offend anyone, and yes it may be offensive to some people. Sometimes i think i am a psycho. So please do not take offenive to that. I will read the other comments now, the last thing i want to do is put someone down, the only reason i said that is because sometimes i think he might be a psychopath and given that he has ASPD he may be. Om sorry

 

[tasha07]

Hi caey 03, im sorry i havent figuered put the technolpgy yet to be able to directly reply but yes it is a fear that he may kill me. I am not sure i should be dating atm. I have no idea

 

[Fadeaway]

Anti-social personality disorder is just another name for sociopath really.