Should I try vaginal dialators?

[The Albatross]

I can't imagine many men being okay with the prospect of never having sex.

I had weapons grade mentors and they were older (sponsors, grand sponsors) - though not as "typical" as male impotence issues, the fact is that there "can" be alternative intimacy methods or ways to express if necessary. When I paused to consider, conversely, if my spouse had an impotence or erectile dysfunction issue - would it be a deal breaker. The answer for me was also no.

If you're not really in a mental/emotional position to be in a relationship at this point... as you improve and rectify difficulties it will be something to problem solve in as much as you are able later on. BUT... the primary thing is working through with brainstorming, creating a strategy, gathering resources, and trying to inhibit problematic PTSD triggering and/or psychological blocks needed for health and wellness. I expect that is really the first priority?

 

[Sweetleaf]

I dissociate in any kind of genital exam, and also require xanax. That's totally natural for someone with sexual assault in their trauma history, you're not alone in that. I empathize a lot with your situation.

I agree with what the others said about going to a doc first and getting their advice.

My T has told me about another woman that's physically unable due to damage and has a husband but I just can't see that happening for me so I just avoid men. ? It's safe but it sucks at the same time. I just can't handle being rejected for something I didn't choose right now.

I feel the same way - feeling like no guy would want to be with me - from me not wanting sex, being afraid of it, etc.

I feel ashamed of how I look everywhere down there, too - like a guy would take a look and just be grossed out.

There is damage and intercourse would be painful. I feel pain even without doing anything sometimes, though it's not as bad as it used to be. I need surgery and had a consult with a surgeon, but my local options arent very good. I probably will have to fly out of state to get it done, and then back home while still recovering >.<. Also a total pain to get the surgery covered :(

 

[The Albatross]

@Sweetleaf - yup the surgical option for me is way out of area and would be/was private pay. I had no way to do that. Irony of ironies for me was post surg from a hysterectomy, the surgeon thought he did me a favor without discussion by getting a bit creative in the surgery (to keep things nice and tight he said). At that time I had far bigger fish to fry and had the discussion with him, discontinued services but did not file a complaint. Prior to that I could tolerate some penetration though it was with difficulty and discomfort. I was 40. I still remember the look on that Doc's face when he said that during the post op and had several subsequent visits trying to address the issue but he never took it seriously.

So I guess it would be a cautionary tale to any PTSD gals to have very specific discussions if recommended for GYN surgical procedures. I didn't do that because at the time prior to surgery there was a large amount of difficulty but I chalked it up to the reasons I was recommended for the hysterectomy. Uhhhhhh NOPE.