Spirituality: Any Unitarian Universalists?

[Chava]

Any Unitarians here? Can I ask if you attend services and what you get out of it? I've attended a service before, and at that time in my life had the feeling that these were just people who liked to get together for coffee and ambiguous church-like rituals, but didn't necessarily share any beliefs. But lately I realize the founding principles are probably more in line with how I view "God" and spirituality (I won't get into it here, but I'm seeing some connection).

I'm highly avoidant and don't make good eye contact or present myself as approachable at all in new situations. Yet, if nobody seems to notice me, I feel invisible and ashamed and non-existent, and never go back (also part of why I attended one service years ago and didn't go back). So, I'm really hesitant to navigate outside my bubble and attend a service, but I'm very interested to hear what others might have to say about what the UU services or fellowship offers you. Is it more about community? Or are there strong spiritual connections or potential for spiritual growth in your own way? How does the community help support your spirituality? (or anything else you can offer, if there are any Unitarian Universalists here). Thank you!

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Wish I could help you out. I am not Unitarian. I am spiritual, and believe in basic Christianity, but I am non-denominational.

 

[Changing4Best]

I was raised up in the U.U. Church from ages 6 to about 19. Then I went to college and lost my connection with any U.U. churches. I did a lot of activities in their youth program called Liberal Religious Youth (L.R.Y.). Their youth programs were great for making friends and travelling to different cities to attend L.R.Y. Conferences. I made a lot of friends at those conferences and had a lot of fun. I learned a lot about human nature and the games people play.

As to your questions about the U.U. Church and its beliefs and practices, I would say that they are very loose in their spirituality, allowing one to believe whatever one wishes. In that kind of context, they present the beliefs of many many of the world's religions and allow you to pick and choose between which belief(s) you are most comfortable with. My daddy was a "devout" Atheist, my mother was Agnostic and my sister and I were just plain confused by all the many choices we could choose from. Usually there was a bookstore on the premises and you could also buy books about the many world's religions. I had my parents buy me many of those books and I enjoyed reading them. I came to the conclusion that there has to be a God. I did not choose any one religion's beliefs however.

These days I belong to the Methodist church. I went church "shopping" in the town in which I reside and found that the Methodists were the most welcoming toward me, inviting me out to lunch afterwards and being loving toward me. I found it the easiest to become involved in this church, because of their welcoming nature. (Oh, and there is no U.U. Church here in this town, so ythat is why I am not attending U.U. services. I do believe in Jesus and the Bible. I believe reading the Bible is essential, so that one understands what one believes.

Whatever belief system you choose, be sure to study up on it and become very familiar with it. I think that is very important.

If you care to Give me an email here, I would love to hear about your choices and how all of this goes for you.

 

[Go Hungry]

Heh. Trying to decide if I should give one a try myself. From what I hear, it's like Kathy and you said. There is a generalized service that pretty much anyone can jive to.. But I do worry about people, like you do. It's the continual battle... I only feel comfortable when I'm alone or in the company of close friends.. but how do I make friends if I stay alone all the time. Gah!! :banghead:

 

[greenleaf]

Hello Chava, I actually joined a Unitarian Universalist (UU) church last winter after sporadically attending for many years, and am still learning more about it -- but I think that can continue indefinitely. Our church is definitely a wonderful community; it sounds like you've read the Seven Principles? They are guidelines for the community, and one can also believe in whatever combination or absence of deities that makes sense to you. I think that each church is probably a little different. I've known Pagan Unitarians, Christians who are Unitarians, and my folks go to one in another city too -- they used to go with a Jewish friend, and are agnostic so far as deities go.

There is definitely a lot of potential for spiritual growth in your own way, that seems to be a core thing that a lot of folks there are looking for.

Our church is currently between permanent ministers -- the retired minister is one of the main reasons I joined! -- he always created well-researched, informative and enriching sermons; he's a brilliant man who is really does not run from painful subjects, he's willing to be very honest and challenge people to work on themselves; being in a room where the "leader" is encouraging that approach to life part of what I found helpful, given past personal experiences with authorities' abuse/neglect. I really hope that I feel similarly about the next person.

There are also several people there who I know are survivors of abuse and also other types of trauma; it's helpful to have some friendships face-to-face with other folks with ptsd. I don't talk about the stuff with people there in general... I guess I'm kinda phobic about bad reactions after many previous minimizing responses etc. however the inclusion of meditation in this church's activities is great. During a conversation with a person about a meditation class I think she and I realized we are both survivors.

UU churches all differ and change somewhat, and people vary in all sorts of ways that impacts us all differently even amongst those of us with the same diagnoses; however it seems to me like there is a much higher-than-average chance that people who choose to be Unitarians, would also attempt to be supportive of the issues of survivors, and educate themselves too. Social justice is a huge part of the tradition.

I like people there that I've met -- but I don't want you to feel bad if you feel differently about whichever folks you meet! I love the feeling I get in the building, the history, that people there try...

Our church hasn't had anything that requires us to be non-avoidant unless we walk up to a podium!... at the "coffee hour" after services, there are people who wear rainbow scarves showing that they are willing to talk to newcomers, and there is a separate room where new people who might like to talk a bit can go, and the membership person who knows answers about the church structure is there too -- though ours is not pushy at all; she's a gentle person. However I lurked in the back on many occasions before joining.

The music at our church is wonderful too, the kids' programs sound excellent, and I saw some excerpts from a program where safety from abuse was being covered. (Although that seems very common these days, unlike when I was a kid.) There are a number of projects we can join that help the community -- like a food pantry.

Please feel free to ask more if I've totally missed what you were hoping to hear about... I'm not an expert but I do generally feel pretty safe there, as places go, for me...

 

[Chava]

Thank you so much @greenleaf

Glad to hear of your positive experiences

 

[StellaBlue]

I was raised UU and am currently an active member of my UU fellowship. I identify as both a UU and a Buddhist - and I am a non-theist, but consider myself very spiritual. I have found a spiritual home and a loving community in my church. When I was seriously depressed, I forced myself to go to services just to be around people and "absorb" things. I would often leave without talking to a soul. I have since become a lot more involved. Our church is very much active in social justice and I have become very active in that. I have also been involved in the religious education program and some other small groups. This community has been a huge part of my healing.