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Spirituality/religious Struggles

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I am STILL struggling with all of this! It has been a back and forth sort of dilemma. I realize that this issue really started when my "atheist" mother came to Good Friday services over a year ago. That was a shock to my system that shook my belief that the church was a "safe" place for me. I know I haven't felt safe there since she invaded my space. [My mother knows no boundaries, and if you use the word 'boundary' with her, she'll go off on some sort of rant about how its just some psychological babble.]

There has been more drama that my dad has been dealing with as well. Lies, threats, etc. He no longer feels safe there, either, and has withdrawn all of his support for the church, after being back and forth on the issue. When he told me this, I was in a bit of shock as he previously had been very supportive of the church, so its taking my mind awhile to adjust to a seemingly 180 degree turn.

So long story short, my dad has decided to transition over to another church and would like me to go, too. I have agreed. I have been to this church before, and it is a lot smaller, but the people are very nice. I am hoping that I find it to be a safe place for me. I asked my dad to not tell my mom that he or I have decided to go there, as I wouldn't put it past her to follow us there! [If that happened, it would be world war III and my relationship with my mother would most likely be done for good.]
 
Hey there, Sorry I missed you. I was alerted but my conversation inbox was full so I deleted some. Hope you are doing well. I wasn't able to send you a message back so hopefully you try again Rising.
 
I hope you find the right path for you. I believe that most churches are dead nowadays. It all looks so good at first and then you start noticing things that are not kopescet. There is a verse somewhere where Jesus said the days are here when you will not need a teacher because the Holy Spirit will be your teacher and I find that so true in my own life.

May your faith not fail you as you sort through this very complicated situation.
 
I had to walk away, flatly deny and turn my back for many years. Just setting foot in a church triggers me badly. Religion was close to if not the core of justification for my abuse.

Despite that I find myself hungering for completion, solidarity and stability in unconditional love that having true faith brings. And I've discovered that much can be gleaned if you remove the human, toxic element.

I've had a few brushes with some very bad people, and after much searching I'm taking a deep breath and going to a service with a congregation that match my beliefs.
 
I'm an agnostic seeker, but I was raised as a Southern Baptist. I had quite a few church transitions, mostly because of conflict with members. When I switched from one church to the next, I usually didn't tell anyone. When I finally did tell my Dad, it was used as a way of criticizing my faith (surprise, surprise). My Dad is still active in the church I grew up in from 1990 to 2003, and I will occasionally end up there for some social event. When I do, I often run into people who can't seem to let things go. I've had people approach me with grudges that are close to 30 years old.
 
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