Stopped Benzos...Just Overwhelmed.

[clare]

Hi Pandora,

I'm so happy for you! You are awesome!

clare

 

[pandora]

Thanx Clare...I am actually amazed at how well I am doing and how good I feel!!! This medication is truly a gift!!!!

 

[melody]

Way to go Pandora, you're doing great! :occasion:

 

[TLight]

Panda......you are incredable. Your life is changing right before our very eyes.

Blessings dear beautiful girl......blessings.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Pand,

I too watched that episode and though and hoped that you were watching it too. The part that got me the most was the guy that found his wife dead in bed next to him and her face was blue. That scared the crap out of me. He looks like a zombie now, there was nothing, no emotion, like he was flat lined or something.

I am glad the you are doing ok.......Glad that you have your mom, and hopefully the two of you can work out what differences you have in therapy..........

 

[midi]

Things are sounding good! Keep up the fight!

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

I am so glad that you and your mother are settling into a better relationship and that you have resources available to help continue that progress. I am so happy that the med is helping you with the withdrawals. I absolutely cringe at the thought of coming off of my valium when the time comes but your strength is showing me that it is possible.

 

[pandora]

Wow..I am showing myself that anything is possible. I am now at day four...I am now taking 8mg of suboxone..started at 4mg. I see the doctor on tues and we will reassess. I am responding very well to this medication. My back hurts but it is tolerable and the withdrawals are at a minimum. It truly is a blessing and I am so thankful for this opportunity...the cost is about 20.00 per day..now that is crazy!!!! Thank goodness I have insurance but I have to pay up front. This is for sure saving my life or at least extending it. A couple of years ago...I did not care if I lived or died. I knew in my heart that I need to be here for my son but felt so helpless and hopeless that I just did not care. I am surprised that I am actually here because I abused my medication...I am just so grateful and thankful that I finally gor my shit together and now I beleive things are going to be ok.
I had another pre-treatment meeting yesterday and I think I will get help but I know that I was also able to help others and that made me feel good. I am looking forward to the group therapy and treatment. I am going the next three weeks from 9-3..all week for therapy and rehabilitation. I am hopeful that this is going to help me to get back to the real world as well and that my isolation days are over. I really am getting my life back....thank you all for your support..thank you sooooo much!!!!

I put on a coat yesterday..wore it last year. I found two ativan (benzos) in the pocket...oooohhhhhh..I wanted to take them. I gave them to my Mom and she threw them away. Today I had a stressful event with my son and ooooooohhhh....I wanted to take something and then I considered going to get a bottle of wine but I did not. I do not want to replace one addiction with another...so I did not. I am trying to stay focused, positive and though it is only a few days, I am feeling quite proud of myself!!!!

 

[pandora]

It was a week ago today....no pain killers. I made it through the first week....

 

[tryintobreathe]

Pandora,

ONE WEEK! You rock girl! That is so awesomem and I am so proud of you! Give yourself a pat on the back! I was addicted to pain pills and I have been off of them for over 5 1/2 years now.

{{{hugs}}}

Jen

 

[pandora]

Day 8 and had my first full 6 hour day at rehab. I loved it!! I know that sounds crazy but I always loved school and learning..self help..I have all the books. I am helping myself and hopefully will be able to help others. Maybe this thread will give hope to someone struggling with an addiction. I am proof that anything is possible becasue last ear at this time I was in a bottomless pit. I am slowly crawling out. My energy is more than it has been in about three years and that is only after a week. Amazing!!!

 

[clare]

Wow!

It must be fate that I signed on now-my husband just had his first day without oxyies-kinda rough. He just went to a meeting and after seeing your thread it really made me think, things will get better.

thanks panda!

clare