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Sudden Flood Of Suicide Ideations

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Feel it everyday of late. The only reason I write down why not to, is because of my children. I'm sad and embarrassed to admit that, here I know it's a feeling and a desire most can empathise with. I'm not angry and it would be done in a peaceful manner, and bring eternal peace. Love and light to all.
 
I know exactly how you feel. I've felt the same way myself over the past few days. When it takes over the brain, it really takes over the brain. There seems to be no hope in those moments, but there's always some hope, and the only thing to do is to do something to take away that edge. I find going for a run and repeating a simple mantra helps sometimes.

Remember as Martin Luther King Jr. said sometimes you can't see the whole staircase, you just have to take the first few steps. It's like that. You just have to focus on the one simple job at hand and trust and have faith that it there will be future moments of happiness and joy. I know it doesn't feel like that at the moment, but there always can be. I forget that myself, too. Hope that helps.
 
@.45 Princess I am in a similar place right now but have been having identifiable triggers. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me from dying is remembering I have been here before and it got better. It is temporary as excruciatingly painful as it is. Writing lists doesn't help for me the depression is so overwhelming it is takes too much energy. That is great you are exercising. It might be an anniversary date your sunconscious is triggered by. I have been getting blown off by my T even texted him that he said it is the depression distorting my filter or some BS then didn't call. Sometimes T's are just people and suck like everybody else LOL. Hugs to you and hope you get some relief soon.
 
@Ladyghosthunter-I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time too. I know all too well how when something good happens, it seems taken away by another's actions toward me. I also know how hard it is to not want to physically be where you are. I have been trying to move for 13 yrs and my husband has blocked my attempts as well as sabotaged my career to the point that I feel no longer useful where I use to.

I know that we have to search for any information we can get to sink into us that counters these feelings. I am not saying that it will work for anyone else, but I have been reading about Buddhist theory and it makes some (a lot of actually) of sense to me. I suppose I have not had a lot of faith in the past few years because of feeling so damn stuck. Buddhist say we crave pleasure and attempt to escape pain, but there is really no escaping as both are our reality. Kind of the ying yang thing I guess, and I can attest that for every positive, I feel like the left shoe is about to drop. I am just trying to be present and mindful of the pain.

Is there any way that you can move to where you would like to be right now?
 
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