General Sufferers' Jobs & Careers?

[Toria]

I was just wondering, for those of you who's Sufferers are lucky enough (I think!) to have a job in these "interesting times", what do they do; and have they had a career change due to PTSD - voluntarily or enforced?

I'll elaborate...

Husband did 22 years in the Army, then came out and accidentally fell in to a woodworking / repairing job and almost did an apprenticeship in it - totally new career and all on the job training. He was not suffering with PTSD at this point.

After about 6 month doing that job he had his breakdown. From then on he found it hard to cope with his boss - the phrase "doesn't suffer fools gladly" probably sums it up best and after a further two years he left to set up his own business.

I completely encouraged this, seeing how his boss was getting him down and we both thought that working for himself would provide him with a much calmer working environment.

It hasn't quite worked out that way... what with the recession, people not paying, people wanting constant discounts that eat in to his wages - wages? Erm... what are they??? Etc Etc.

We have had a lovely bank holiday weekend - until we started talking about the work he has lined up for the next few weeks and suddenly the angry, frustrated Husband came out to play.

I know he has to work - and I am lucky that he can - but the anger, the more and more frequent lapses in memory and the stress are playing havoc not only with our lives but also with the way that the business is functioning. I cannot hold it together on my own and neither can he - but we don't seem to be able to work together any more either.

He "forgot" he had to phone the bank manager 3 weeks ago and I have an awful feeling his overdraft is going to disappear this week... Things like this just bring it home.

Any suggestions? Sorry - this post wasn't supposed to be so long and rambling!!!

 

[catjudo]

after a further two years he left to set up his own business.

I completely encouraged this, seeing how his boss was getting him down and we both thought that working for himself would provide him with a much calmer working environment.

Calmer in that he wouldn't be dealing with a difficult boss, but even for a healthy individual, running one's own business can be extremely stressful.

the stress are playing havoc not only with our lives but also with the way that the business is functioning. I cannot hold it together on my own and neither can he - but we don't seem to be able to work together any more either.

Are you talking about not being able to work together in your personal relationship or in running the business? Because, even for healthy individuals, husbands and wives can often find that attempting to run a business together is detrimental to their personal relationship. It can definitely put an extra strain on the marriage.

I guess what I'm saying is that these would be difficult circumstances even for the healthiest and strongest of individuals. When you factor in the PTSD, it is no wonder that things seem to be falling apart.

 

[Toria]

Thank you Catjudo - guess I got it wrong in the first instance :oops: You are quite right - I guess that neither of us looked at it that way.

The "working together" part was in a business sense. If you remove work from the equation we actually seem to do quite well... oh dear. I think I've talked myself in to a corner!!!

 

[intothelight]

Hi Toria,

My husband and I own our business together. I have PTSD and two years ago I had a major breakdown. During that period, I made some horrible mistakes and really hurt our business. A lot of it was cognitive issues, like not keeping track of checks that I had issued, missing important deadlines for filings and some pretty significant errors. But at the same time I was project managing, quoting, and even filling in for field work as the need arose.

Basically I was all over the place, out of my comfort zone, and not doing any one thing well. My H and I sat down and established clear divisions or responsibility. He handles the field, marketing, job specs, and our techs. (I had a hard time with our techs as males intimidated me.)

Things have been much better and the business has been improving now that we have that division. He actually worked on getting me wired so I can do what I need to do from the office, home or anywhere I can get internet access.

I guess the point is that sitting down with you H and finding ways to reduce things that are stressing him. Maybe you can take on more of the administrative things and leave him free to do the jobs he needs to complete without having to worry about calling banks and such.

I hope this helps, but a lot of times it is negotiation and there is a lot of trial and error until you hit on what works.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[Toria]

Thank you so much for your reply Debbie - Husband has had to take more responsibility than usual of late as my mobile has been out of action so he has had all calls diverted to his mobile so he's been "front line" as well as hands on.

I have my own job as well as doing his admin and trying to juggle the two has been hard of late. So, I've decided to book Dog in to kennels one day a week and after I've done my job in the morning I can go home and do a good four or five hours work on his business, which should get a lot of the day to day stuff out of the way.

Thank you both for your take on this x

 

[BigBear]

My husband and I own our business together.

Deb,

That would be fun! Angel and I talk about it some. I think it's just a fantasy however.

Bear

 

[ProudWife99]

I think in any relationship even the most well meaning roles we put into place bend and stretch to cover for our loved ones when they need it. H takes care of making sure all bills are paid on time and watches the money in the accounts, but as soon as he started getting entirely too stressed out these last couple weeks with the house and school, I just scooted in and took over. He'll take his responsibility back when he is capable.

I guess we both just learned how to do all jobs intimately so when the other person is incapable, we just pick up where they left off. Minus the laundry. For some reason that man of mind cannot wrap his brain around putting the laundry away. ;)

We each have our own "chores", but we pick up the other person's slack without even a word, usually. If I notice he hasn't been doing his, I just do it. The key is trusting your partner not to take advantage of you.

 

[amethist]

Hubby has not worked since his accident, and to be honest is not ready to even think about even a simple part time job just yet.

I have to admit my husband does take advantage of me where the house work is concerned.

He won't wash up now after a nasty cut on his hand a while back, but will put them away. He won't cook as is scared he will burn something, or cut himself while preparing it. Messed up the washing so won't do that either, which leaves me to do it all.

As for the bills I sort them all out, and control both bank accounts, he has not got a clue. But like he said he knows the bills are paid if left to me, and he knows if I start worrying about them, that's the time he can. so far so good there though.

As ProudWife said, Trust is the key word as far as a lot of things go.

 

[Pale Warrior]

My husband has been out of work since the accident that caused his PTSD. He has appiled for 1000's of jobs and no one wants to interview him let alone give him a job. He has had a number of volunteer posts, but they all ended badly as he can't handle pressure or conflict and the employers didn't give a damn about his PTSD. He adds to it himself by refusing to discuss his problem with them, head in the sand strategy.

He will certainly never be self employed, can't make decisions, handle confrontation or remember important information.

He is doing a leisure course in photgraphy which may lead to something, perhaps selling immages on line, but that is a long way off.

I wish all the best to those sufferers who manage to work, I can only immagine how tricky it must be.

 

[Tifanee]

My partner is self-employed which works well for him. It doesn't help with his stress levels but there is comfort in the control of self-employment. He owns a building and has partitioned it into 5 different store fronts. He is technically still the owner of each business, but there are leads or those with the passion for that particular business that are in charge of the day to day stuff. They pay him a montly fee which includes rent, utilities, and general maintenance work. He has his finger in each business personally so makes more money for the work he does within each business. If one business closes, then there are four other business still paying the bills and bringing in a revenue source.

Since my partners trauma occured during childhood, I can't really speak to if this would be the same work he would do if the trauma never occurred. Since he was old enough to earn his own wages, he has always done a job that allowed him more control. Always working with people, but on his terms. He was a white water rafting guide, cave diving and rock climbing instructor, photographer, and now business owner.

I don't think a traditional office job would work for him...too confining and too much opportunity for him to be backed into the proverbial corner by coworkers or management. We have a dream of owning a working farm one day.

 

[Taven Carlsen]

even for a healthy individual, running one's own business can be extremely stressful.

Agree.

even for healthy individuals, husbands and wives can often find that attempting to run a business together is detrimental to their personal relationship. It can definitely put an extra strain on the marriage.

All the examples I can think of, the marriage and business worked well together. But I have no direct experience myself, and don't have a lot of examples to draw on.

 

[Sunshine71]

I just saw this and have also posted something about working... Great minds think alike!

I have run my own business for 8 years and have never worked so hard. I feel that it is an option for PTSD sufferers however it is very stressful when clients mess you around/ dont pay/ delay things etc.

It is also difficult to keep on top of invoicing and keeping records correctly...

My hubby is waiting to hear from 2 jobs and is working towards his own business too.

It is at the stage where he could be ready to launch - but he seems to be finding little things to dealy this, Before it was a game I feel - getting some office space ready and putting up photos - well now he needs some work!!

And it isnt easy getting people to part with £'s!! I know!!

I had 2 clients that needed some photos so I sorted out for hubby to do this for my clients, Both ended up a little bit difficultly with hubby saying he didnt like them (!!?) just because they asked for images and he didnt send them and wanted something different..

This was akward as I have worked with these people for quite sometime and they are my clients that I have built up relationships with....

While hubby was training he did various projects for people to gain experience for free - these people said he was wonderful and they all had a super time - it is different doing favours for people compared to having someone part with their hard earned cash!!

I do hope that they business works out - as a carer this has been difficult for my business, set me back and I have lost clients too as I just couldnt fit everything in

If you only need a little amount of money, have some regualr clients and it is manageable it will be a good option for PTSD sufferers I feel (if they are able to work of course)

But for my 8 years it always seems to eb too much work or too little!!

Maybe a VA or assistant could benefit your hubby Toria if the funds are there??

I really hope it works out for you.

Sunshine xx