Supporter- how can I support my husband with insomnia?

[wifey27]

Hello everyone, I am hoping to receive some guidance on how I can best support my husband with chronic insomnia. He has been experiencing insomnia since he was a kid and has tried everything you can think of (medication, sleep studies, meditation, CBT, supplements, exercise, routine, etc) but nothing has worked consistently. After trying so many things to no avail, it has turned into a very hopeless situation.

When things get bad (several days in a row with little/no sleep), I try to help him with either comfort, space, recommendations, etc but nothing I do helps. In fact, it usually causing more stress and arguments between us because I feel like I am being shut down when I am trying to help. I understand that it is hard to be receptive to things on little/no sleep, especially if you have tried them all, but it is very frustrating and making me feel hopeless too. Like there is nothing I or anyone else can do, so we are just stuck in this horrible place until he gets a night of sleep. Then the cycle continues.

For those who are either experiencing insomnia/has experienced insomnia/supporting someone with chronic insomnia, what has helped or offered the most comfort and support? Open to anything, thank you so much for your help <3

 

[parrotthepolly]

Had he tried meds specifically made for sleeping like melatonin?

I think there are certain sprays that might help such as lavender but then again with PTSD it doesn't really work if you have to literally be on guard ...

For me, I need to have the bedroom door locked from the inside to calm down even if logically people are not going to intrude but still can feel that way, on worse days I wear actual outside clothes and not pajamas cause they make me feel venerable. Yeah it's kinda ridiculous but does the job.

 

[arfie]

hello again wifey. i'm still a sufferer and still stuck on the same refrain as i was in the last post. my hubby helps me best when he helps himself and lets me trust my therapy network. he helps me best as a fit, well focused spouse who believes in me at least as much as he believes in himself and random strangers on the digital highway. the trust that i can and will work ^it^ out helps me far, far more than all the rhetoric on the internet.

toward the goal of helping yourself, free-sharing in spaces such as this one can help considerable. your pain and confusion counts for at least as much as your identified patient. keep venting. your answers are in there. listening. . .

 

[Jade-]

For those who are either experiencing insomnia/has experienced insomnia/supporting someone with chronic insomnia, what has helped or offered the most comfort and support? Open to anything, thank you so much for your help <3

For me personally, there's really nothing another person can do to help me with it or even make me feel supported or comforted.

Honestly though, I do get annoyed when others try to give me tips and advice because it comes off(to me) as patronozing. Of course I have tried everything I have heard, seen or read to try and help myself, I don't need anyone else trying to tell me what to do.

I don't even call it insomnia, I just call it my weird sleeping pattern. It sucks but it's something I have been going through since I was a young child and has become my normal. Fortunately(or unfirtunately) my bf also has a weird sleeping pattern and I just leave him be and let him deal with it in his own way. He understands exactly what it's like and what I go through.

I know it can be frustrating though and I am sorry you're dealing with your husband going through it.

 

[Sweetpea76]

You cannot help, you can just support. Often times supporters try to fix. We cannot fix any of this.

 

[anthony]

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