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Other Surgery in a few hours

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FauxLiz

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So in a few hours I am having repair surgery for a failed surgery from roughly 15 years ago that was necessary because I was so dysregulated and body dysmorphic as a result of my SA that I convinced my doctors to remove what I considered to be the cause of all my problems the very part of me that made me “female” and therefore subject to the abuse.

I am stressed about the surgery I generally don’t have a good track record with doctors, I have been told to expect to be kept overnight even though it is usually an outpatient procedure and I really wanted one of my kids to be there but their school and work schedules (both are in college and working) didn’t allow for it so a friend is accompanying me. It is just times like this that I wish I had a SO in my life, this is when I feel my most alone.
 
Sorry it has taken so long to get back here was not the ideal day I had hoped it would be. Surgery took longer than expected and as to be expected in American hospitals I still don’t know why and I still have no idea what all was done.

The surgeon and I had a game plan but there were a lot of if then’s in the plan depending upon what all was found. I do know it was more than she had hoped for as she told me to anticipate 5 small incisions (because of the robotic equipment) but that if certain if then’s needed to be done it would require more and I have at least 2 more incisions that the nursing staff have been checking which are very triggering as they are vaginal incisions.

Shortly after I was taken to my room I was given gabapentin for the nerve pain in my back and had a seriously bad reaction to it. Honestly thought for a bit I was going to end up in the ICU because it was not going well at all. Made it through that, will never take gabapentin again which is odd as I have taken it before without issue for my migraines.

It started getting late so I asked the nurse about my night meds and all she mentioned was my pain meds, I asked about my daily meds including my ambien and anti-depressant and they had nothing ordered they also have nothing ordered for in the morning. I am kicking myself because this is the first time I didn’t bring all my meds from home to the hospital with me and I am worried about things getting really messed up.

I was able to get my ambien and anti-depressant but not the test of my night meds and the nurse commented that the on call doctor complained that I am on too many meds and didn’t want to really give them to me, I am hoping my surgeon is in doing rounds early tomorrow and can order my meds but either way it will be an issue because they will have issues about my thyroid meds and not giving them to me super early to make sure I have an empty stomach.

Hopefully I will go home tomorrow, we’ll no hopefully about it I have a zoom Job interview on Wednesday morning that I can’t exactly do from the hospital.
 
@FauxLiz very glad it is done, and you can know you are taking a step to address what a more turbulent and horrendous time in your life created. Things stick with us when they are not completed, and you deserve to have the best outcome and care and recovery possible. Really proud of you and your courage (I get it, I avoid much of that as don't have a ride home, and without they won't discharge unless you can lie and pull it off, not that I have your guts or desire to even get there). Speedy recovery and if wednesday you are not ready, reschedule or don't worry it's not meant to be, you are a human being, not a human doing. But will be pulling for you in all ways, as am sure it is very important to you. And you are important to us. 🌹🌹🌹🤗
 
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So in a few hours I am having repair surgery for a failed surgery from roughly 15 years ago that was necessary because I was so dysregulated and body dysmorphic as a result of my SA that I convinced my doctors to remove what I considered to be the cause of all my problems the very part of me that made me “female” and therefore subject to the abuse.

I am stressed about the surgery I generally don’t have a good track record with doctors, I have been told to expect to be kept overnight even though it is usually an outpatient procedure and I really wanted one of my kids to be there but their school and work schedules (both are in college and working) didn’t allow for it so a friend is accompanying me. It is just times like this that I wish I had a SO in my life, this is when I feel my most alone.
how did it go? my surgery soon isn't as important as yours but Ill be having my tonsils out I am super anxious. hope your surgery went okay
 
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