Relationship Taking Him Down From The Pedestal...

[Sabrina0712]

My PTSD sufferer doesn't acknowledge what he has done to me. I have had a traumatizing childhood n I cling on to those who love me for dearly life. He knew all that...n he has used my past against me in anger saying that I deserve it. I don't deserve it...I am good person who just want to love someone dearly n it was all I doing for him.

I am still heartbroken for all the pain he caused me n it brought up my past as well but its something I have to work thru. It still doesn't give him a right to treat me the way he did.

We have all had pain n suffering in some point our life but it doesn't give us any right to treat others with so much disrespect. He told me he regrets meeting me...I never forced him to stay w/me. He knew everything he was getting into. Amazing how you can regret meeting someone when all they did was love you unconditionally. It is what I did for mths...I loved a man for who he was...for all his qualities. I put him up on a pedestal...its now time for me to take him down :(

I deserve someone who would put me up there n appreciate the kind heart I have. I just wanted to fall in love again.

 

[Changing4Best]

You are right, in my opinion. I don't know the whole situation, and I am a sufferer, so I am only saying that no one has the right to mistreat others. That is a truth I think we all believe in here on these forums. We are here, at least in part, because someone has mistreated us and we don't agree with that. None the less, we are all human too, and folks can mistreat someone without meaning to sometimes. I am not saying that last is true of your case, but it does happen.

If you feel it is time to go your separate way, then it is time. May God be with you as you go on in your life!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You sound codependent.

 

[Nam]

I agree with @Solara . I have codependent tendencies. Once I'm aware, I try very hard to curb it.

I don't understand why he was up on the pedestal to begin with? Maybe he doesn't want to be there? PTSD can be devastating, but it's a lonely journey. It's hard for anyone else to really understand. Sometimes it's even hard for another PTSD'er to understand. We go about healing in different ways. You may have enabled him in ways that was not in his best interest. I can guarantee that he's already feeling guilty by having you care for him so much.

Here is thread worth reading: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/carers-co-dependency-information.8894/

 

[Sabrina0712]

Thank you Solara and Nam.

I put him up in the pedestal...I had no clue until recently by joining this forum what PTSD was....he was somewhat normal when we first met but him constantly disappearing n appearing after sometime, his anger outburst, I started relating it to PTSD. I wish I would have known what I was getting myself into.

I took care of him like he told me wanted me to...I did exactly what he asked. No one can fault me for caring...its my nature n he knew that from the very begining. I will not join him in a chorus when he degrades his mother, his sister in law or his exes...I don't think putting someone else down is going to do you justice n if he found fault or if someone finds fault in that...I am feel truly sorry for them.

I never enabled him to talk badly about others, I never enabled him when he asked me for money to help him, All I did was I cared for him cause I knew how much he has been thru...plain n simple.

I don't think I am codependant...he wanted me to be. He wanted me to rely on him on all matters...n I honestly loved him so much I was willing to change...biggest mistake never change yourself for someone.