The journey begins ... or continues ... articulating the rollercoaster that is my life

[somerandomguy]

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[mumstheword]

Thank you again lovely peeps!

 

[mumstheword]

Last day of my 3 week program. I've made amazing breakthroughs in the last couple of days. I had a epic game-changing revelatory session with my psych(iatrist) we don't really call them pdoc's, here, in Oz.
I'm going home with heaps better tools, skills and insights to manage my previously out-of-control inner terrified child "stuff".

I connected some dots, in that session, about my mum's histrionic, always catayrophizing her issues and ignoring or minimising my very real issues and needs.
My responsible parent/adult is going to be able to soothe and counsel poor frightened child me much better from now on.
Such a relief!
I'm looking forward to seeing fam; my guy and my growing up/grown up babies :-) and my bestie and counsellor(s)

 

[somerandomguy]

<3 <3 <3 <3

 

[ILoveLife]

I'm happy for you mums. It was great for you, I can sense the amount of self care from here. :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::inlove:

 

[Freida]

I am so very,very,very happy for you...:hug::hug:

 

[ladee]

Such courage to tackle the hard stuff, away from home. So happy for you Mums, all that hard work paying off.. onward. Proud of you for all that this took for you to show up and give it all you have. Can't wait to see the miracles unfold..

I know you will be glad to get home, and with lots of new tools, and the beginning of some major healing about your mom... Starting to fit inside your own skin again, if ever, and claiming it... applause and hugs. And lots of respect.:hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[Swift]

Well done, mums. Very proud of you.

 

[mumstheword]

Love you guys, :hug: thank you so much.
So.....to continue. Home to a total shit show.
Massive fight with my guy over housing stress, his neighbor friends (my not-loving them so much and him biting my head off about it) me being trapped here because his hoarding is basically barricading me in here and making my illness waaaaay worse.
His telling and reacting to me being pissed about all that stuff has set me back.
He is often incapable of de-escalating so that I can't process what he's saying. This is very problematic.
I'm a write-off today. I nearly wanted to break up when.he wouldn't stop yelling at me last night but, oh that's right, we can't, because housing won't let me move until I "pass" the inspection. Doesn't matter that I'm trying to move minus the hoarder, or that my children and I are dangerously at risk in this "community" or that I'm trying to escape what's been making me so ill I now need multiple admissions into hospital, each year.

Uuuuuuggggghhhhhh!!!!!!:arghh;

 

[Swift]

Argh that sucks. So sorry mums.

 

[ladee]

You are NOT a write-off today. You came home to chaos after being safe and leaving with new information and new healing to do. And you don't have to like the damned neighbor. I understand why. I would feel the same way.

I know you don't have a place you can sleep or even lie down in privacy. I'm sorry you came home to everything you are trying to get away from. You are going to catch a break Mums.. You are. Watch and see. You aren't doing all this work to stay stuck in a life and community that is not conducive to you going further in your healing..

For all the things you listed that you are, while in treatment, none of those things have changed. You ARE going to get out of this mess of a house and community. You are going to find a way. And a way is going to be provided for you. Keep your eyes open. And your heart on your healing... you are going to make it out. :hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[Freida]

well damn. not quite the homecoming you deserved....:(