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The journey begins ... or continues ... articulating the rollercoaster that is my life

I feel more supported and met than ever before. I feel a stronger sense of self. I feel like I am growing, socially, and in self-aware ways, intensely but in a solid and grounded way.
I practiced A LOT of grounding and self -soothing self-care when in Belmont and grew in terms of learning to open up and sharing, rather than hiding myself so much.
 
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How awesome to be in a safe place to begin to learn to be more open. Going to inpatient is like going to church, we learn things while we are there, about how to be in the world. Then we go home. And try to put those things into daily practice.
Very glad you got this experience. Your words don't feel so heavy as before you went.
Supporting your growth. Gentle hugs if accepted.
 
I missed yoga today, instead, met up with someone I met in the hospital. She didn't have a good experience there this time. I had a mixed time. There is one nurse who I know is not a safe person for me and quite a few other people. I'm still planning to go up in July and if that nurse is going to be scheduled to work there lots at that time, I will postpone my visit there.
I am totally focused on moving myself and my three youngest children into a place that is safe and spacious.
The person I met today might give me some paid work when she is in my area. I'm inspired to put myself out there for that kind of work. It's the kind of thing I do for free anyway, so to get paid for doing some of it would be so incredibly validating.
I am still feeling sooooooo much better, in general! Not pushing myself any more though, gone are those days.

I feel I have a lot of good self-care and grounding practises in my life now, and a lot of grace, once again. I am getting better and better at boundaries and not being open to degrading, harmful and invalidating treatment.
I have friends!!!!! :-) :-) :-)
Moving out of here and somewhere less depressing, unsafe and demoralizing will be my next major milestone.
It was healing to talk to my new friend today. I felt that she felt it too.
I feel the strength that comes from being a person who has been through a great deal, yet who is becoming good at getting help and doing the inner repair work that needs doing.
 
Thank you @Freida & @AngelkeeperJ/AKJ :hug:
I have kept in contact with 3 friends that I made in Belmont.

I found out I just lost a friend down here though.
One of my friends took his life on Monday.
He was my closest girlfriend-down-here's guy friend and I kind of helped facilitate their getting together a couple of years or so ago. They had recently broken up but we're still very close friends. He was a lovely man. Another sufferer. I believe that he had undiagnosed Cptsd, he'd had a very abusive childhood. Many of his family had taken their own lives.
I am sad at the loss of him and for my
bestie who loved him deeply.

I have lost so many people to suicide though, I feel a little hardened to it now, compared to the first couple of friend's I lost.

He suffered from grand mal epilepsy. We very much enjoyed singing together in group sings (choir and such). He and I had such fun getting loud together :joyful::joyful:. I shall miss his lovely maness and his big voice.
I hope he's in a good place, where ever he is or isn't.
I loved you lots my singer brother-friend Peter.:cry:
 

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