Therapist Insisting My Abusive Parents Love Me

[Deleted member 37343]

It sounds like your therapist is either highly incompetent, doesn't believe you, or don't have all t...

No I've only met her about half a year or so ago and she's never met my parents. Only met me and my friend.

 

[Gs172003]

It sounds like your therapist is either highly incompetent, doesn't believe you, or don't have all t...

That's exactly what I was getting at

 

[shimmerz]

Boy this brings back memories I haven't actually processed yet. It didn't seem all the bad in the whole scheme of things until I read this posting.

I am going to agree with Scout and say that your mother is 'crazy'. AKA - what she does is not reasonable, her actions can't be anticipated, hateful, irresponsible, abusive and highly dangerous. I think it is important that you see the highly dangerous part. Scalding with boiling water? Knife pointed at your eyes?

You father (sorry) ought to be shot and hung in the village square for allowing this to happen to his daughter right.in.front.of.him. I don't care if he doesn't want to be around her or not.

So, my teenage life was like this as well. I escaped (yes, I said escaped), because a woman friend offered me a spare apartment for me to move into. My mother cried and carried on because 'she didn't want this to happen, as I was too young'. Seriously? I was too young for any of the behaviour that was happening in my house because of her. Free rent or not..... there is no excuse for what she is doing to you physically and psychologically.

Let me be clear. There is nothing you are ever going to be able to say or do to stop your mother's behaviour. Somehow you need to get out.

I expect that the mother of your friend has a good idea of what is happening to you. Is there something stopping you from having a discussion with her as to the possibility of living with their family? I know you aren't used to it, but some people are just damned nice and want to help people in your situation. She most likely will not have the expectations of you that your mother does and that may take some getting used to. Perhaps it is you that is thinking this through too much because of the way you have been brainwashed into believing that you must have tremendous value in the house that you live in.

I would speak to your T about moving out only. If she is not receptive then I suggest that you find either another T or a woman's outreach faciliity and see if they can counsel you in escaping. They are experts at that. They can tell you what you have for resources, help you keep yourself safe in your house while you are still there, help you to understand the conflict that you have (that you are killing your mother, that you can't leave,) and they can also help you keep yourself safe from being stalked. Outreach programs don't usually go through the bull crap of delving into past traumas and will believe what you are saying. It sounds like this T you have currently is having a hard time getting her head around what is happening and that isn't a good thing for you right now.

I strongly suggest that you not deal with past trauma stuff right now. You need to get safe first.

My heart breaks for you. And I believe you.

 

[Anarchy]

Multi like @shimmerz

 

[Anarchy]

@Nimali Really well done for spelling out what is happening. That can be really difficult to do, especially for the first time.

I'm Seconding what Scout and Shimmerz wrote.

The first step in recovery is you getting to safety. Whether at your friend's parent's home, or with the help of a women's refuge.

Are there times when you can rely on your parents being away for a few hours, in order to get your possessions that are most valuable to you out?

Your mother's "health" is her problem. Her bullying people isn't going to make her live any longer, it didn't work for any of the crazy characters in fairy tales, and it won't work for her either. In the end, non of us get out of here alive.

Extrapolating from the experience of several friends here, I'd be very suspicious of whether her illness is even real, or just an excuse to manipulate you and your father. But that's a question for once you are out of there and are safe.:hug:@

 

[Deleted member 37343]

Sorry I'm ready to fall asleep and will reply when I can.. this week has been so stressful and memories are getting blocked out, I'm finding bruises on myself, and my body pains are really disabling me, but not as much as my mental illness haha.. Falling in and out of dissociative and intense intrusive thoughts episodes.. My friend has been of great help.

 

[Deleted member 37343]

So I spoke with my friend's mom about the situation and she talked me through the house rules and what she would expect of me if my stay became long term with them. But another thing I'm worried about is I'm not sure how I'd afford continuing to go to college and transferring to the next job, medical bills, etc.. I just don't have enough for that and I don't expect my friend's mom to help me with that since my friend is the oldest of the three children.

 

[Deleted member 37343]

*Transferring to the next college.

Sorry typo. Don't mean 'job.'

 

[Deleted member 37343]

My therapist also thinks it's a good idea I move out but she hasn't given me any suggestions or tips so maybe next session I'll see if I can bring that into question..

Kind of off topic, but a while ago my therapist thought I may show signs of psychosis based off what I've told her but now she's changing her mind and thinks I don't show signs even though what i've told her, I believe, is not part of normal intrusive thoughts and dissociation.. I'm still going to get tested and it keeps getting delayed but hopefully this January is the date.