Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

[idunno]

Hello,

I have not done this before or anything like this. I was told this may be a good idea for me. I have had chronic depression, anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks, etc. for 7 years now. Since my fiance died in a car accident. I don't know what is normal. I feel like things are getting harder, not easier ever. I think of him all the time and this time of the year is especially hard on me.

I used to physically hurt myself to make the pain go away, as I write that, it makes no sense, but it was what I did for a while. I am no longer doing that and glad that I am not. I think my medications are finally at a point where I can semi function.

I am trying to make positive choices in my life and change the way I think, but it is so hard. I feel like I am loosing myself. I guess I don't know what I am looking for back from this, I guess just to hear that I am not the only one struggling like this, or hints, tips, tricks, stuff like that.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

idunno- Welcome to the forum. There is a ton of wonderful information within these pages, and there are even more wonderful people here.

PTSD is a constant battle, and no, you are never alone. If you are taking three steps forward and two steps back, that is still forward progress. It is better than our bad days, myself not excluded, where we take two steps forward and three steps back.

Hang in there. I hope that you find some comfort here.

 

[LittleBear]

I can tell you that 15 months ago (two months before my 'generator' event) if someone had told me I'd be this way I would have said they were an idiot.

Now, even overhearing an idle comment or seeing a "trigger" can get me thrown back into the emotional whirlpool. I have taken two steps forward and gotten knocked three steps back at times. However, I know I'm sane because I keep getting up and try to progress against the raging blizzard of emotions. Leaning into the wind with my hand holding my coat tight trying to make it back to the farmhouse of home I can't see yet but I know is out there.

What amazes me, and I'm not trying to marginalize what people are going through, is the number and scope of people having the same exact issues as others with experiencing PTSD. The generating cause may not be the same but it seems many "teammates" of PTSD are having the exact same 'reactions'. What I am trying to say, and I'm the World's worst at being misunderstood and at misunderstanding others, is believe it or not you're reactions are """normal""". I find comfort in this normalcy and perhaps you will also that eventually we all will reach a good resolution.

Sincerest hopes and wishes for you to have a point where you become comfortable again.

LBear

 

[Sazza]

No major words but PTSD is a journey and for every step forward we take we are always going to end up back at some point. What we need to remember is its a blip, we have moved forward before and will do so again. I know its hard a few weeks ago i felt i was turning a corner and now wham i feel worse than ever but as my GP said to me i have got through it before and will do again. It can be so hard to remember that amongst all the pain, sadness and anxiety.

 

[idunno]

Thanks everyone. I have always felt so alone and scared to share with people. I used to be so outgoing and confident, now it seems to be the extreme opposite.