Tips On Making Therapy A Safe Experience

[Bragado Jansing]

I tried one more therapist before I decide to take a hiatus on this enterprise.

This guy gave me a discounted rate and said he was familiar with abuse issues. Sounded alright. I go into the session and he seems totally drugged up on something crazy, like, eyes rolling in the back of his head drugged up. Like, the kind-of thing you shouldn't be working on. It had to be opiates or something. Whatever it was, he was off his face on it. There is no way in hell this guy is going to remember anything I said to him during session.

He basically had nothing worthwhile to say. I tried to shake his hand and it was limp and clammy, like the limpest, clammiest handshake anyone has ever given me. And I'm pretty sure he got me sick. It would've been nice if he had said something about that.

It's my conclusion that these therapists are even more f*cked up than I am, and I lived through some crazy shit. Who the hell are these people?!

 

[Deleted member 34328]

My plan? Enjoy my life as much as possible. I've been working on this for years now on my own....

I'm really sorry about all this.

I've been reading through this thread. I would like to share a few thoughts with you, I'd like to first point out that I think you're wise in carefully and systematically choosing or identifying a therapist that's right or wrong for you.

You seem to be aware of your tendency to move too quickly. Not taking the time to check the credentials first.

Given that you have identified these things, would it be helpful to have someone - a friend or even a caring person here who might do the sniffing with you? Let someone into your world to be an extra set of antennas.

I can't identify with what you've experienced in therapy, however I fully believe that there are good caring people qualified to help you if you're willing to go the distance.

I'm by nature a stubborn person - which may or not be a good trait. I saw myself turning into someone I didn’t like or want to be, so I started looking for help. I took the recommendation of a trusted family member and called a #. Had an assessment session where there was no committing to anything on my part or the therapist's. Just a meeting, quick rundown of my situation. He took a lot of notes and together we decided on a second session. 4yrs later and after a lot of hard and painful work, I'm still seeing the same therapist. My journey is not over yet. Still some demons to be faced, but I'm thankful to have someone I trust walking with me...even if he sometimes has to "be the bad guy...".

Therapy is hard work. It takes a lot of stubborn willpower to stick with it. You seem to be a very independent person which although can work in your favor, it can also work against you. I do think you would benefit a lot from pulling yourself up and beating these monsters that torment you all the time. But I would caution you to look online if need be and find someone to help you get a good strong therapist. Mine can feel like a bully at times, but that's part of the territory. Have I dreaded sessions? Absolutely! But more than my fears, is my desire to heal and be able to function in society again.

You can too. Put some of your stubborn independence to good use and learn how to quiet down long enough to listen to what your heart is really saying. I hear the need for help, but not just a therapist. Help in laying down some of your defenses. Your belief that no one is good enough or qualified enough to help. That's just not true.

I'm sorry if anything I've said has offended or hurt you in any way. That's definitely not my intent. Please forgive me if I have. I just feel that you have a lot to offer and need to take the steps to find it. Don't give up. I used to be a trampled doormat. Not anymore. I'm worth the work. So are you!!!

 

[Bragado Jansing]

I'm really sorry about all this.

I've been reading through this thread. I would like to share a few...

Thanks for all this good stuff. I'll find a therapist at some point. So far I've invested about 40,000 hours into this project, and I'm coming to terms with it on my own. The issue I'm having is I haven't found a therapist who's willing to work as hard as I am. Naturally since this is my own project, but there are so many books, resources, ideas, and concepts that these therapists simply haven't bothered with. What the hell is your job, exactly, dear therapist? I hate laziness and lack of care for developing expertise. What's the point of having a career at that point?

So it's like, if these therapists aren't as hard working as I am, then how on earth can they help me? It'll only slow me down and waste my time. I already went through the worst emotional stuff about 3 years ago, so it's not like I need that right now.

The moment I'm currently at is something like Nietzsche's amor fati -- accepting and loving my fate, and I'm reasoning through moving on from the misguided love I had for my family, which is tough, but I've survived worse.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

I truly do wish you luck as you continue on your journey. I'm starting to believe I'm a survivor too. Didn't think PTSD could be viewed that way. Keep in touch.