Tired Of People Telling Me That Ptsd Isn't An Excuse..

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I think it's important to keep in mind, too, that making friends as an adult is so much harder than making friends as a kid or a teen. It really, really is. I find that the people who tend to gravitate to me are people who want something from me - normally people who expect me to keep them afloat. I let those friendships fall apart.

What is it that you want from a friendship anyways? Do you know? Is there another way to go about it?

And when you make friends, if they ask about something you do or don't do or whatever, you can decline to reply. Say something like "That's kinda personal, I'd rather not discuss it right now" or "I'm not in the right space to get into that" or whatever. But you don't have to tell them. Instead, focus on what you have in common, like pottery or whatever. Let things grow from there. And maybe 5 years down the road they finally find out that those quirks you have are from PTSD.

Or you could always stare at them like they're crazy. That seems to be my go-to response.

 

[Faye_Valentine]

Thank you all. Good advice.
I'm still trying to work through some things, but the past week or so has been really nice. i've just been relazing and trying to take it easy.

I should be starting a new job soon, where I would be working with a good friend and I'm going to be playing for a gigging band soon. Pretty excited about all of it. :)

@Cactus Jack: Thank you, in particular, for your in-depth response there. I appreciate the input. I don't know what the last part was all about, that I said. Lol. Sometimes, I have a very hard time understanding what I'm reading. Not really sure why...

 

[anthony]

I think your only real concern here is believing in yourself to be perfectly honest, because what a couple of people said vs. what you stated... demonstrates that you are putting yourself out there.

there's one or two people who're going on about "Well, you just haven't tried hard enough." and "PTSD isn't an excuse".

Answer being:

I struggle every day with trying to find friends. I try SO hard. I talk to everyone I can, and try to get out as much as possible. I try my hardest to listen to what other people have to say, even if it's something I have no interest in. I really DO try.

Well done.

I don't think they understand how serious of an issue it is, or how hard it is to deal with.

Most don't understand it. Whilst in some cases I will state the opposite, being sometimes people are using their PTSD as an excuse... it happens often, I do not believe this to be the case from what you have explained.

PTSD is a fact and comes with impairments that are quite common across the spectrum, though some can do some things and not others, vice versa... its really quite an individual and unique basis to assess.

My advice... believe a little more in yourself, and don't own what others think or say, simple accept they have a right to their opinion and what you do with their opinion you own. Its normal for people with low self esteem due to abuse to take on things they don't own, but you only need to recognize when you do it, and put it right back with them... don't own another's shit is the simplicity of it.

Well done on your efforts though... sounds positive for what you are putting in.