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Today my “coworker” (my pet)...

Today my coworker lodged a formal, and very rowdy complaint over the appearance of chimpanzees on the staffroom tv.

It wasn't apparent from the complaint what the issue with chimpanzees is, specifically, only that their appearance itself was exceptionally objectionable to my coworker.

The matter has been forwarded for internal investigation as potential hate speech, since it had been observed that this coworker has no issue with other dogs, cats, elephants or whales appearing on the tv, so the riotous objection to chimpanzees specifically would appear to be a clear display speciesism, which we do not tolerate in our workplace.

The same coworker has previously received a formal warning about racially driven hate speech, for his very loud and obnoxious(and, frankly, embarrassing) protestations when anyone wearing Sikh head attire approaches.

A second formal warning regarding speciesist hate speech will put my coworker on very thin ice.
 
My other coworkers have been protesting in chorus.

Then one of them hijacked a bicyclist and demanded a free ride.

The fountain bathing one hasn't shown up since that incident, but with his choice of bright red clothes and face paint, I wouldn't be showing my face -either-. That's what one gets for eating the red crayons instead of beige ones. :banghead:
 
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