I had my final therapy session with my T before she goes on vacation tomorrow. I was able to tell her about the details of the flashback I've been having in her office. I took the plunge and just gave her the Coles note version. Then went into more detail when she asked about certain aspects.
Before I go into much more detail about how today went I need to mention something positive outside of therapy. I haven't found a doctor, and my psych doctor hasn't returned my calls in 6 weeks. Yesterday the social worker I saw referred me to a Nurse Practitioner run clinic. So I had that appointment this morning. I gave a history of what is going on, told them about how suicidal I was, then they offered me a plan and help that I haven't had available.
The appointment was only supposed to be an intake, I wasn't supposed to see the NP today, but the nurse doing the intake was so concerned about the crisis situation she pulled in the NP. She created a safety plan over the weekend for me. I have set time windows must call her in or she will send the police to the location I'm supposed to be at the time. They are also connecting me with their social worker, an acupuncturist, and a dietician all at no cost. The NP also knows my T so she called my T (after I signed a release) and told her I was suicidal and that part of my safety plan was to bring my medication into my appointment (with my T).
Back to my therapy appointment today. We went into more detail about the flashback, my T explained more about unconditional love to me, what she means by it, what the meaning of unconditional love is - how very different from my experience it is. She asked about how it felt to make eye contact with her last week. I ended up having a flashback again near the end of the longer session. And I could hear my T through my flashback asking what the little me needed. She also held up a stuffed animal in front of me at one point but I didn't hear what she said when she was holding it up so I emailed her after and asked what she said.
The police also contacted me this evening and I go in on Tuesday to do a video statement. No news otherwise.
Before I go into much more detail about how today went I need to mention something positive outside of therapy. I haven't found a doctor, and my psych doctor hasn't returned my calls in 6 weeks. Yesterday the social worker I saw referred me to a Nurse Practitioner run clinic. So I had that appointment this morning. I gave a history of what is going on, told them about how suicidal I was, then they offered me a plan and help that I haven't had available.
The appointment was only supposed to be an intake, I wasn't supposed to see the NP today, but the nurse doing the intake was so concerned about the crisis situation she pulled in the NP. She created a safety plan over the weekend for me. I have set time windows must call her in or she will send the police to the location I'm supposed to be at the time. They are also connecting me with their social worker, an acupuncturist, and a dietician all at no cost. The NP also knows my T so she called my T (after I signed a release) and told her I was suicidal and that part of my safety plan was to bring my medication into my appointment (with my T).
Back to my therapy appointment today. We went into more detail about the flashback, my T explained more about unconditional love to me, what she means by it, what the meaning of unconditional love is - how very different from my experience it is. She asked about how it felt to make eye contact with her last week. I ended up having a flashback again near the end of the longer session. And I could hear my T through my flashback asking what the little me needed. She also held up a stuffed animal in front of me at one point but I didn't hear what she said when she was holding it up so I emailed her after and asked what she said.
The police also contacted me this evening and I go in on Tuesday to do a video statement. No news otherwise.
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