Touch / Physical Holding

[Springer80]

I think it's 2-1 in your favour at the moment :D

Let's not keep score, eh! My memory is done in as it is! :giggle:

 

[Pencil]

I've lost my ANP, my body physically gave out on me and the functioning me went poof into thin air. I am now left with EP me of which there were three and I worked them down to one. .. my body refuses to get up unless I KNOW I won't make it buzz. Difficult.I've been off work for months. The body and touch are in the remedy somewhere.

Ouch, Springer! So are you planning on going for touch therapy as your T suggested?

I'm only aware of one EP, but according to the literature there are always at least 2. Can't wait to find the other one;)

 

[Pencil]

I am now left with EP me of which there were three and I worked them down to one.

May I ask you how you did that? Of course I may ask, and you may choose if you want to answer or not :)

 

[Pencil]

I am now constantly craving human companionship, human touch, but know I would fall to pieces if someone tried to touch me. I am better than I was, but still thinking about someone touching me sends shivers up my spine. But on the other hand, I crave it so desperately. It's a hard one!

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Smushroom - see the links posted by Springer further on in this thread! Especially the Andrew Cook one!!!!

 

[Pencil]

EXACTAMUDO!!!! :) and I think you've hit the nail on the head as to why I couldn't mix being in that held state and reflecting on it in the same session or with the same person potentially. Its like two dimensions!​

But, Springer, those 'dimensions' have to be integrated, which can only happen if it is with the same person. Or not?

 

[Pencil]

I think being reduced to that child state is such a gift if you experience it well.

Beautifully put!

 

[Pencil]

Springer, Smushroom, Noah

From: The role of touch in therapy: An adjunct to communication. Beverly Willison and Robert Masson. Published in Journal of Counselling and Development/April 1986 / Vol. 64

“Although many of the concerns regarding touch from the traditional psychoanalytical viewpoint relate to encouraging transference and dependency, not touching can complicate transference (Mintz, 1969; Older, 1982). Touch avoidance may (a) recreate the experience of physical rejection by caretakers; (b) reinforce the denial of body awareness, particularly with obsessional and schizoid clients; and (c) increase the likelihood that clients depersonalize the therapeutic relationship as a defense against feeling (Mintz, 1969). “

30 years later ... Oy!

 

[Springer80]

May I ask you how you did that? Of course I may ask, and you may choose if you want to answer or not :)

Yeah sure, I answer most questions!! Erm I'm not sure what I did....I think it was mainly down to the fact I couldn't physically sustain them anymore. I have theories....in that I reckon it was the ptsd going from acute to chronic perhaps?I found out about them because I auto-drew them in a dissociated state.

Also I got to a position were I finally had room to 'spill out' of those roles because I got so exhausted, I subconsciously engineered them.

I don't know how to progress on from this in a healthy way, I have to risk my real vulnerability and I haven.t figured that out.

 

[Springer80]

But, Springer, those 'dimensions' have to be integrated, which can only happen if it is with the same person. Or not?

Yeah I think your probably right....:sick::banghead: Does that thought ever make you feel physically sick? I don't mean queasy/nauseous but like you could wretch your stomach inside out?

Also the thought of receiving what I need makes be able to physically anticipate the feeling of being welded together, like wolverine and his metal skeleton! I'm scared that I would love/physically need that person too much because I don't know what it's like normally and I'd end up squeezing the relationship to death. :eek::notworthy:

 

[Pencil]

Does that thought ever make you feel physically sick? I don't mean queasy/nauseous but like you could wretch your stomach inside out?

Yes.

 

[Pencil]

! I'm scared that I would love/physically need that person too much because I don't know what it's like normally and I'd end up squeezing the relationship to death. :eek::notworthy:

If you read the Webster thesis: those clients who needed it (not many) were held until 'they no longer needed it'. It could go on for years. Another therapist (i'll find you the link) says that for some it is like insulin and will need it for life

 

[Pencil]

Yeah I think your probably right....:sick::banghead:

Of course I am! ;)