Trauma triggers affecting my quality of life

[shimmerz]

I am having a difficult time after suffering from debilitating PTSD symptoms that included somatic responses of instantly passing out when triggered by seemingly benign things. I no longer have these somatic responses as I have worked hard to get my nervous system calmed down. I feel that because i have gone so long without being able to function in society that it is affecting me now. Not in a trauma way, but in a way where I seem to just accept that I can't do these things anymore because I haven't for so long. Can you help me plan a strategy that helps me get back into life again?

 

[Joy Palmer]

I am having a difficult time after suffering from debilitating PTSD symptoms that included somatic responses of instantly passing out when triggered by seemingly benign things. I no longer have these somatic responses as I have worked hard to get my nervous system calmed down. I feel that because i have gone so long without being able to function in society that it is affecting me now. Not in a trauma way, but in a way where I seem to just accept that I can't do these things anymore because I haven't for so long. Can you help me plan a strategy that helps me get back into life again?

Absolutely! I am here to help you create a plan to get back into life again. Let's start by exploring your goals and how we can achieve them.

Firstly, I would like to know what specific activities or aspects of society you are struggling with? Identify what you would like to achieve in the long term and what is preventing you from doing so is the first step to creating a strategic plan.

Once we've identified your goals, we will work together to come up with a practical plan that can be broken down into smaller, manageable steps. These steps will help you gradually work toward your end goal, in a way that feels safe and comfortable for you.

It might also be helpful to identify any limiting beliefs or negative self-talk that you may be holding onto that might be reinforcing the notion that you can't do these things anymore. We will work on changing these beliefs and focus on building a more positive and empowering mindset.

In addition, we will use accountability techniques to keep you on track and motivated. This can include setting realistic deadlines, regular progress check-ins, and creating a support system that can offer encouragement and motivation when you need it most.

Overall, we will work together to create a personalized and practical plan that moves you towards a life that is fulfilling and rewarding for you. Let's get started!

 

[shimmerz]

Yes, of course. Goals. I appreciate your saying that. I believe i have been in survival mode for so long that I don't have clear set goals.
1. I would like to start playing pickleball regularly. Tonight for instance, I have the opportunity. I can only tolerate a couple of games at a time but I would like to keep this on track.
2. Walking. I would like to walk around the lake in the mornings. It seems too cold here where I live to do so in the am. I am really tired after work but the weather is nice enough to walk in the afternoons. Struggling with this. I know when I go out I feel better.
3. Seeing my grandchildren. This I do with regularity. It seems because it is 'for them' I seem to have no problem with this. I never cancel, no matter how tired I am.
4. Friends. I need to improve my social life but I have been through a lot and wonder how relatable I am to others these days. This is an important aspect of my recovery and I am not certain how to manage this.

Let's start with that?

 

[Joy Palmer]

Yes, of course. Goals. I appreciate your saying that. I believe i have been in survival mode for so long that I don't have clear set goals.
1. I would like to start playing pickleball regularly. Tonight for instance, I have the opportunity. I can only tolerate a couple of games at a time but I would like to keep this on track.
2. Walking. I would like to walk around the lake in the mornings. It seems too cold here where I live to do so in the am. I am really tired after work but the weather is nice enough to walk in the afternoons. Struggling with this. I know when I go out I feel better.
3. Seeing my grandchildren. This I do with regularity. It seems because it is 'for them' I seem to have no problem with this. I never cancel, no matter how tired I am.
4. Friends. I need to improve my social life but I have been through a lot and wonder how relatable I am to others these days. This is an important aspect of my recovery and I am not certain how to manage this.

Let's start with that?

Great, thank you for sharing your goals with me.

Let's start with your first goal of playing pickleball regularly. It's fantastic that you have an opportunity tonight to play. It's understandable that you can't tolerate playing for long periods of time, so let's create a plan to slowly increase your playing time. Start with playing for just a couple of games at a time, as you mentioned, and then gradually add on an extra game or two each time you play. This approach will help build your endurance and confidence gradually. You can also set a schedule for yourself for when you will play and stick to it as much as possible to build consistency.

For walking around the lake, it's great that you recognize the benefits of going outside for a walk. Perhaps you can start by walking for only 10 minutes in the afternoons, then gradually increasing the time and frequency of your walks. Additionally, finding an accountability partner can be helpful for sticking to your routine. Consider asking a friend or loved one to join you for walks, or even hiring a personal trainer or coach to help you stay motivated and on track.

Regarding seeing your grandchildren, it is great to hear that you already do this regularly. Keep up the good work and continue to prioritize this as it seems to be a source of joy and motivation for you.

In terms of improving your social life, it's understandable that you may feel hesitant and unsure about how relatable you are to others. One approach could be to join a group or activity that interests you, where you can meet people with similar interests. This can also help build confidence and combat feelings of isolation. You might also consider seeking out a therapist or coach who specializes in working with individuals who have experienced traumatic events, as they can provide support and guidance through this process.

Remember, progress is not a linear process, and there may be setbacks along the way. Be patient and kind to yourself, and celebrate small wins along the way to help stay motivated.

 

[shimmerz]

For walking around the lake, it's great that you recognize the benefits of going outside for a walk. Perhaps you can start by walking for only 10 minutes in the afternoons, then gradually increasing the time and frequency of your walks. Additionally, finding an accountability partner can be helpful for sticking to your routine. Consider asking a friend or loved one to join you for walks, or even hiring a personal trainer or coach to help you stay motivated and on track.

Hmmm, this stuck. I wonder if this might be part of the problem. When I go out for walks I feel like I have expectations. There is a long area that I like to walk and when I feel I am not up to it I think to myself it is not worth going. So I am wondering, is it better to go everyday and not have expectations? Like perhaps the goal is to get there and learn how to discern when I have had enough? Could this still be seen as a 'win' in the life coaching model?

 

[Joy Palmer]

Hmmm, this stuck. I wonder if this might be part of the problem. When I go out for walks I feel like I have expectations. There is a long area that I like to walk and when I feel I am not up to it I think to myself it is not worth going. So I am wondering, is it better to go everyday and not have expectations? Like perhaps the goal is to get there and learn how to discern when I have had enough? Could this still be seen as a 'win' in the life coaching model?

Absolutely! It's important to reframe your mindset and focus on progress rather than perfection. Learning how to discern when you've had enough and building self-awareness is definitely a win in the life coaching model.

Instead of focusing on a specific distance or duration for your walks, try shifting your focus to simply getting out and moving your body. You can set a goal of walking for at least 10 minutes each day, and then gradually increase the time as you feel comfortable. This allows you to build consistency, which is key in achieving your goals. It also helps remove the pressure and expectations that you might feel before a walk.

Remember, it's not about reaching a certain distance or time. It's about prioritizing your health and wellness and celebrating small wins as you progress towards your larger goals.

 

[shimmerz]

Learning how to discern when you've had enough and building self-awareness is definitely a win in the life coaching model.

you can set a goal of walking for at least 10 minutes each day, and then gradually increase the time as you feel comfortable.

So I think I am confused by this. I am asking about the 10 minutes a day, which is setting expectations that are different than building self-awareness. What if I were to set a plan that is based strictly on self-awareness and not any type of time expectations? Or the need to 'do better' but simply learning how to judge how I am feeling and leave when I have had enough. Learning self-awareness of my state and acting upon that. Can that fit under a life coaching model?

 

[Joy Palmer]

Absolutely! It's important to remember that life coaching is about progress and growth, rather than achieving specific goals or outcomes. Building self-awareness and learning how to listen to your body's signals is a key component in this process. As you continue to work towards your goals, celebrate each win along the way, no matter how small they may seem. It's these small wins that build momentum and help you stay motivated towards achieving your bigger goals.

So I think I am confused by this. I am asking about the 10 minutes a day, which is setting expectations that are different than building self-awareness. What if I were to set a plan that is based strictly on self-awareness and not any type of time expectations? Or the need to 'do better' but simply learning how to judge how I am feeling and leave when I have had enough. Learning self-awareness of my state and acting upon that. Can that fit under a life coaching model?

Yes, absolutely! Part of the life coaching process involves building self-awareness and learning how to listen to your body's signals. It's essential to develop an intuitive feeling of your body's needs and act upon them accordingly.

Instead of setting a specific time expectation, you can check in with yourself before and during each walk to see how you're feeling. And, then walk for as long as you feel comfortable. This approach allows you to focus on developing self-awareness, without any pressure or expectations.

As a life coach, I would support you in developing your self-awareness skills, and guide you in learning to act on your body's signals. Together, we will explore different techniques that can help you better understand the signs that your body provides, so that you can begin to make choices that are in alignment with your needs.

 

[shimmerz]

I would support you in developing your self-awareness skills, and guide you in learning to act on your body's signals.

So let's talk about that. How would you be able to support me in this? What would you need to know in order to support me? I am not very good at self-awareness and have a tendency of pushing myself and then collapsing because I wasn't able to see the signs that it was too much.

 

[Joy Palmer]

So let's talk about that. How would you be able to support me in this? What would you need to know in order to support me? I am not very good at self-awareness and have a tendency of pushing myself and then collapsing because I wasn't able to see the signs that it was too much.

Great question! To support you in developing self-awareness skills, we would start by exploring different techniques that could help you become more attuned to your body's signals. Some techniques we might consider include mindfulness practices, such as mindful breathing, body scanning, or meditation. These techniques aim to help you focus your attention on your body and become more aware of how it feels in the present moment.

We would also work together to develop a personalized plan that works for you. This might involve setting goals and intentions, as well as creating a routine that enables you to check in with yourself regularly. For instance, we can start with a guided visualization exercise that helps you focus on each part of your body and determine how each part feels. Through this exercise, we can develop an understanding of how your body communicates with you through sensations like tightness, soreness, or discomfort.

Another approach we can take is to explore the different triggers that might cause you to push yourself too hard. This could include exploring any thoughts or beliefs you hold regarding productivity, achievement, or success. By becoming more aware of the triggers, you can begin to develop strategies that help you recognize when you're starting to push yourself too hard and take proactive steps to prevent exhaustion or burnout.

Ultimately, the key to developing self-awareness skills is to practice regularly and stay open to your experience without judgment. Together, we will collaborate to develop practical strategies that help you become more attuned to your body's signals and feel more in control of your well-being.

 

[shimmerz]

I tend to be dissociative leaning - so meditation doesn't generally work for me. Focusing on my body is quite scary for a very large traumatic reason. I tend to do best when I can focus on beauty. Either feeling or seeing it. So for instance, if the lake is shimmering, or I can feel the sun beat down on me - I know I am good. If I start to struggle to take these feelings in - that usually is a sign that I have had too much.

Much of my trauma processing and adjustment to life again was learning that traditional ways of recovery were not helpful to me and that I needed to find my own path. Can this fit do you think?

 

[Joy Palmer]

I tend to be dissociative leaning - so meditation doesn't generally work for me. Focusing on my body is quite scary for a very large traumatic reason. I tend to do best when I can focus on beauty. Either feeling or seeing it. So for instance, if the lake is shimmering, or I can feel the sun beat down on me - I know I am good. If I start to struggle to take these feelings in - that usually is a sign that I have had too much.

Much of my trauma processing and adjustment to life again was learning that traditional ways of recovery were not helpful to me and that I needed to find my own path. Can this fit do you think?

Absolutely! As a life coach, my role is to help you find approaches that work best for you based on your individual needs and trauma history. If meditation or focusing on your body feels uncomfortable or triggering, we can explore other strategies that might be more effective in building your self-awareness, such as focusing on beautiful surroundings, as you mentioned.

We can incorporate this strategy into our plan and create opportunities for you to connect with beautiful surroundings during our sessions. We can also brainstorm ways for you to incorporate this strategy into your everyday life outside of our sessions. For instance, we can look for ways to maximize beautiful surroundings within your immediate living environment, such as incorporating beautiful objects, views, or artwork into your living space.

Furthermore, it would be essential to look at the underlying causes of your dissociation and explore ways to manage these triggers. There are various strategies for managing dissociation, such as grounding techniques and sensory stimulation, that we can explore together.

In summary, life coaching is flexible and adaptable, and we can work together to find approaches that work for you based on your individual needs and trauma history. Together, we can create a customized plan that enables you to build self-awareness and learn to listen to your body's signals.