Triggered: Just Need To Put In Writing

[nycowboy]

Story of my life:
I have neighbors who scare me. I had a property line dispute a few years ago and ever since then I have seen the one neighbor as a predator/attacker.

I went outside to hang up a wet swimsuit and their Great Dane started barking at me. The dog is normally really quiet. I was startled to say the least and it took me several hours to calm down.

The dog was just doing what a dog does.
And the neighbor pulled the dog in as soon as she started barking.

But I was still "wired" and triggered big time.

I did talk to my wife about it.

It wasn't until the sun went down that I was able to settle.

Just needed to put this in writing.

 

[Nevermore]

@nycowboy
Though I don't have your exact circumstances I have a couple of neighbours that scare me also!
Because I have lived here and seem unable to move from here since the trauma that set off my cptsd started.
I was battling being stalked by my now alcoholic ex and they were less Than sympathetic.
In fact they blamed me.
I know logically they are just people but they feel like a totally alien race to me.
I just wanted to say I know how it feels to be scared by neighbours.
And I hope you're feeling better now!
My neighbours are probably pretty average people, just have no idea of what I was going through and not kind, not anything - oh maybe judgmental!
I really long to live far away from most people.
Hope you're ok!

 

[EveHarrington]

Neighbors really can suck!

My grandparents moved to the country from the city to get away from it all. They ended up with "neighbors" from hell who put them through all sorts of legal crap. Property line disputes and trespassing issues. Good lord it was crazy.

I can't stand living too close to others either. I prefer to be out in the middle of nowhere------here we just get roaming pigs. They root in the ground but at least they're cute and non aggressive lol.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Story of my life:
I have neighbors who scare me. I had a property line dispute a few years ago and e...

Yeah our systems take a long time to settle. At the apartment complex where I live there are tons of prostitutes and drug dealers and looser pimps, and it is in a supposedly good neigbhorhood.

 

[nycowboy]

Thanks, all. It is good to know that I'm not alone.

I am starting to realize how much time I spend thinking about them and their lives. Hmmm... they got a new minivan the day before yesterday. Hmmmm.... why, exactly, did they park their kid bike in the backyard? Hmmm.... why is the one lady going to work early in the day? And this one (this morning): why did they hang a bathroom rug on their porch?

Duh... to let it dry.

I need to focus on them less, and my family more. How do I go about doing this?

 

[Nevermore]

So is there a reason why those neighbours scare you? Things you've heard or seen? Things they've done?
I only ask because some neighbours are very reasonable to be scared of!!! Esp if they've threatened violence!
My neighbours were intrusive and judgmental, they rule the block - but they were not about to attack me physically etc
I just learned to ignore them and over time they grew less and less visible to me. And these days, although the memories can still upset me, I just think ah big deal - we don't like each other and we don't have to really.
Moving is an option! At least it is for me. I should have moved from here long ago but the i kind of got stuck with the fear.

 

[Nevermore]

Oh sorry! I just re read your post - you had a property line dispute. So it's similar- ish to me where there's been conflict and it's never really been resolved.
sigh. I wish I knew s good answer. Time was the only thing that changed it for me - oh and rearranging where I live so I didn't hear or see them when I was home

 

[nycowboy]

In an ideal world, I'd be able to go and knock on their door and talk to them, but I'm scared and honestly, I don't think it would solve anything. There is a mutual lack of respect here.