I would love for him to get treatment before so he would be in a better space mentally.
One thing to know abot trauma therapy... it’s not like regular therapy for other things (depression, anxiety, GAD, ADHD, autism, marriage counseling, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, family of origin issues, etc.) where you go and almost immediately your life starts getting better.
Instead? Almost immediately, your life starts getting worse. MUCH worse. To the degree that trauma therapists won’t even work with you unless your life is set up to handle everything getting much much worse (stabilization), and sustaining some seriously hard blows.
For how long? Depends on the nature of their trauma and the person themselves. A car accident or rape might only be a few months of life getting worse. Childhood trauma, military service, emergency service, etc.? A person is often looking at
years before thing even start getting back to where they were, before starting treatment, much less better.
When things are going well? You’ve got a job, family, friends, and a life? It’s very difficult for most people to consciously decide to risk losing all of those, just for the sake of maybe feeling better, someday.
Feeling better at what cost??? Is very much at the forefront of that. It’s a lot like the idea of choosing to undergo a year or two of chemotherapy (and all that that entails, including job loss, physical sickness, inability to do even basic parts of your life) if you don’t have cancer.
The idea? Seems pretty insane. And yet? That’s exactly what trauma therapy entails.
Starting trauma therapy means that you’re looking at spending days every week unable to even get out of bed, just recovering from the therapy session; or if you can get out of bed only dragging yourself to work (which suffers for your lack of energy and being able to think straight) and immidiately home to pass out asleep (no time with your friends, or family, or pets, or hobbies. Work and sleep. Except when you can’t work, or can’t sleep.) Weeks & months of being violently physically ill, and crushed with guilt, shame, depression, and suicidal ideation.
If things get too bad, and you’re at serious risk of suicide, job loss, homelessness, etc.? Either backing off the trauma work, or starting med trials (not to stay on forever, just to get you
through the next few years of therapy!), or both.
Again, how long this “gets worse” period before things start getting better? Varies a whole lot, person by person. Could be months. Could be years. But it happens for everyone.
So usually? Things have to already be going very badly for someone to even consider it. They’re losing their marriage, or so symptomatic they’re at risk for losing their job/home/life... anyway.
Not when they’re doing well, with a stable job, close knit family, new girlfriend, etc.
