Muttly
MyPTSD Pro
I've been having some health issues for a while- fatigue, increase in IBS symptoms, etc. I went to my doctor and had lab work done and my hormones are all out of whack. My doctor wants me to get an ultrasound with wand. I told her that would be super triggering and she offered to prescribe me a sedative to take while I do it. I said yes. I should call and make the appointment now but instead I'm melting down. I don't want to. I don't think I can handle it.
Reasons it's triggering. Past CSA. I don't want some stranger sticking something in me. And the idea of a sedative sort of scares me too. What if then I'm just not able to say no? a lot of my csa happened while I was half-asleep. I'm a trans-man. Dealing with female parts is uncomfortable. Going to get a procedure that relates to female parts while identifying as a man... ugh. And sometimes medical professionals are fine and cool and sometimes they treat me like some sort of curiosity there to answer their questions and explain my existence. Also, my body is covered with scars from SI and I hate for them to see it.
now that I've written this out it all feels like a waste of space. I'm just being stupid and attention seeking. I'm sorry.
And also, i know there is a similar-ish thread out there but I don't feel welcome there. please don't refer me to that thread.
And I'm sorry I'm posting when I don't give out enough support
I really am just being attention seeking and wasting space.
Sorry
Reasons it's triggering. Past CSA. I don't want some stranger sticking something in me. And the idea of a sedative sort of scares me too. What if then I'm just not able to say no? a lot of my csa happened while I was half-asleep. I'm a trans-man. Dealing with female parts is uncomfortable. Going to get a procedure that relates to female parts while identifying as a man... ugh. And sometimes medical professionals are fine and cool and sometimes they treat me like some sort of curiosity there to answer their questions and explain my existence. Also, my body is covered with scars from SI and I hate for them to see it.
now that I've written this out it all feels like a waste of space. I'm just being stupid and attention seeking. I'm sorry.
And also, i know there is a similar-ish thread out there but I don't feel welcome there. please don't refer me to that thread.
And I'm sorry I'm posting when I don't give out enough support
I really am just being attention seeking and wasting space.
Sorry