Are you able to give yourself a bit of a pause on making more plans about it for today if it's too much now? You've done a lot already.
That pause kind of over-extended itself.
I can't seem to bring myself to ask anyone for a ride. If I take the bus, I'm basically investing 2 hours to get there. Much of that is bus time and the rest is getting there early because that's when the bus arrives. It would still save me money because I would just need to uber back. Sigh.
I dissociate, that's the whole point of DID, so shouldn't I just be able to dissociate through the whole thing and not need a med to calm me down?
And should I have really have fallen this far apart? because it hasn't been a stellar week.
Am I going to tell them I have ptsd (fk yes!)?
Am I going to be able to tell them out loud when it comes to the crunch, so they know why I'm silently sobbing to myself, and that under no circumstances should they touch the back of my neck? (Enter bigtime personal trigger issue here)? Hell no! So I'm writing that on a slip of paper, which goes in the handbag, and I'm gonna slip that to the receptionist or the lady with the wand.
Completely illogical but the idea of telling them I have PTSD scares me. Like it will invite mistreatment or something.