Relationship Uncertain - is my friend's partner showing narcisistic behaviour?

[PJackson]

Maybe the friend should hold her hand walking down the aisle

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Maybe we need someone to beat the crap out of us over and over again til (we get it) NO, violence begets violence. It's not a solution. Maybe a pyschiatrist

A sane person would do that

You’re absolutely right, but as you know, we’re not talking about sanity. Prior to dating me, my ex was involved with a person who obviously didn’t care as I did by: telling his private business, name calling, trying to ruin his relationships, putting him out of his house, etc. I come along and silly me treats him with human kindness, giving to a fault, uplifting, supportive emotionally, mentally and physically. When my ex broke up with me the first time, I found out that he ran back to him. So since he’s been gone now for four months, I’ll give you one guess where he could be. He also made up stories to use against me in order to have a reason to leave. Saying all that to say, sometimes all they know is violence and being mistreated vs., kindness and love.

 

[PJackson]

You’re absolutely right, but as you know, we’re not talking about sanity. Prior to dating me, my ex wa...

Most abusers don’t change, they elvolve into bigger abusers. They need and want more and more control...

An emotional rollercoaster

That's a hard one to recover from

 

[EveHarrington]

I missed some bits out -

- There are aspects of his life she knows nothing about
- She's never met any of his friend...

HE’S MARRIED!!!!!!!!

Why are you jumping to narcissism when the more likely answer is that she’s the chick on the side?

 

[PJackson]

HE’S MARRIED!!!!!!!!

Why are you jumping to narcissism when the more likely answer is that she...

Ah ha! Lol

 

[Gs172003]

HE’S MARRIED!!!!!!!!

Why are you jumping to narcissism when the more likely answer is that she...

Touche!

 

[PJackson]

Okay then it's settled? Yes? ;)

 

[PJackson]

HE’S MARRIED!!!!!!!!

Why are you jumping to narcissism when the more likely answer is that she...

Eeeeew
I'm totally confused now. Women can be physically and emotionally abusive. After I left my husband, he got together with a woman whom he said " fought him like a man" how nice it is to be the one on the outside looking in huh? Now he's in jail..

 

[TruthSeeker]

I’m sorry. No problem. In addition to your question, I’d like to know why the person would stick aroun...

Four phases of a narcissist. Phase one.....be what the other person wants like a chameleon...control subtly while looking like the night in shining armor or good guy, be there and be everything that person wants, make oneself indispensable, take away other's problems and make their life easier, while slowly making them dependent on the narcissist, making the relationship permanent, like marriage, and every so often they slip up and show the nasty side by accident. In the initial phases, needy vulnerable people who want to belong to a narcissist deny the hurtful things they do as they enjoy the attention and feeling of being special to someone. The narcissists significant other discounts bad behavior (doesn't see it as abusive) but more as having a bad day- minimizes it because they are so needy for what they think that they have -love. They have low self esteem.... Often, like I did, as a world renound fixer, I figured I'd iron the kinks in this (what I didn't know - narcissistic) relationship out later after we got married....and I had no clue the rollercoaster ride I was about to embark upon.
Phase two-....make the co-dependent/wife/significant other more and more dependent, but devalued...so this is never a team...always the narcissist believes they are better, on top, have more of everything, the relationship is narcissist on top and right.......significant other....always wrong or crazy.
Phase three-time to dump you....you have been replaced. Most abusive stage. Dangerous in some cases.
Phase four: The narcissist won't let go......hangs on....keep making that person miserable which provides the narcissist with warped energy to fuel his/her narcissism-because in phase one.....he can't get it by devaluing them....he has to get his negative energy through an old source.

I am that relationship I just described.....left the narcissist in my life moved 30 min. away....he who wanted the divorce, alsowon't let go..he tells everyone he wants to stay "friends"-something we never had before...I doubt that will ever happen now.......He still doesn't want to let go...for example:today emailed and offered to do my taxes.....for a price..after 3 days ago emailing me that if I wanted to see my grandson....he had to be present. I said no thank you....I was replaced by his formerly estranged daughter who is co-dependent, narcissistic, and dying for a daddy (she's been in phase 1 for 2 years and he can do no wrong and does whatever she says).....and has my grandson whom I adore dearly but to whom I have to distance myself to keep away the drama and hurtful behavior. He will not be a pawn-a conduit to get to me. I have multiple life traumas causing PTSD and he was only one of them..... I stayed way too long. A true narcissist can't be fixed and relationships are abusive and emotionally empty once they let down their façade. That's my experience anyway.

 

[PJaxn]

They don't see it, I think they are in denial. But I see it.

They want all of the attention, all of the time and ( you'll) pay the price if you refuse..whether it be emotional abuse or physical abuse. RUN as fast as u can nthe other direction. Seriously it's disgusting to see people who act this way and get away with it. You have to have boundaries and stick to them. These people are cunning and don't accept NO for an answer.