I understand the feeling, I think anyone who has previously self harmed thinks about it again from time to time, whether its just a passing thought or a terrible longing/urge. For me it been two years but I still get the urge and still have the scars that remind me of it daily. The best way I deal with is first to think of why I stopped to think of how long iv gone and how bad I would feel if I did it again. Even just once it will launch me into the idea of "well iv done it once now, Iv ruined my good patch so why bother try again, cutting is easier" and Ill end up back in that horrible vicious cycle of feeling bad, self harming and then feeling bad for doing so. please dont let yourself get into that cycle again. you can sit through these emotions. Even if its just saying to yourself that YOU are stronger then that trauma and whoever may have caused it. Your better then them!! have you ever done dialectal behavioural therapy?? I learned a few skills to help me with my emotions in it. Some of them helped others didn't. One was live in the moment, completly immerse yourself in a simple excercise like Ironing or washing dishes only think about what you are doing in that moment nothing else, im sure you can do it with something like painting or sewing or knitting. I like to do it with knitting. self soothe yourself by doing something relaxing you love like take a bath or have a coffee while watching and easy watch tv show like friends, something that couls make you laugh. then there are pros and cons lists, list why you want to cut and why It would be abad idea. It might help put everything in perspective and help you convince yourself you do not need self harm. You dont, none of us do. It ends up making us feel worse. pm me when your feeling bad ever, Il be glad to talk to you about anything you want until the feeling passes. Good luck dear!! kerrence
