Urge To Cut Is Back

[freakofnurture]

self soothe yourself by doing something relaxing you love like take a bath

This just reminded me: I used to get under the shower when I was too suicidal to safely cut. The water made me feel nice and non-icky, the warmth was so relaxing and under the shower there's really nothing to do but to enjoy the water and get squeaky clean. A good peeling wash, soaping up, using loads of hair products, after that a soft towel, a massage with body milk, then a manicure and pedicure (file only of course, no sharp stuffs), plucking of eyebrows, cleaning of pores, fresh clothes... Ah. So good.
Taking a decadent shower can bring you safely through a whole afternoon and the whole taking-good-care-of-your-body takes the edge off the self-hatred.

 

[Heather]

When I saw my the APRN yesterday she asked me if I had cut myself at all. I just stared at her. She said, "I'll take that as a yes". I told her about provoking the cat and how she scratched me good. She asked to see to the mark on my leg. It's a pretty long scratch almost 12 inches.

Then she asked me if I told my therapist. I just stared at her. Then she began to lecture me about how it was disrespectful to mine and his relationship NOT to tell him. I have a problem with hurting myself and there's nothing worse than someone scolding me on top of it. God, I hate that b*tch!

 

[freakofnurture]

... how it was disrespectful to mine and his relationship NOT to tell him.

Pfsh, seriously? It would be disrespectful of your therapist to your autonomy and integrity as an adult client to pressure you in any way to tell him things you absolutely positively do not want to talk about.
You have a right to secrets and the right to decide what should remain a secret and what you are willing to tell.
B*tch indeed.

 

[Heather]

as an adult client to pressure you in any way to tell him things.

Well, the ironic thing is I had already planned on telling him because I have a list I write down each week of things that I want to discuss with him. The first one on my list said:

1. urge to cut is back.....incident with cat.

so, :p to her. B*tch indeed. I ended up telling him everything she said. He doesn't like her anyway.

 

[freakofnurture]

I ended up telling him everything she said. He doesn't like her anyway.

Beware of the Revenge of Heather :D *gives two thumbs up*

 

[Heather]

Beware of the Revenge of Heather

You're hilarious:roflmao::roflmao:. I don't think we have to do anything. She's good at making herself look like a fool all on her own.

 

[Marie E.]

I haven't cut myself, it has been at least two weeks now.

 

[Heather]

I haven't cut myself, it has been at least two weeks now.

WOOHOO! Marie! I am sooo Amazingly Proud of you Girlfriend! YOU CAN DO IT!

I asked you to require MORE of yourself and you did it! Because you CAN. I knew you could. You just needed to believe it yourself. You are so strong. Believe in that strength! Marie I Love you so much!!!!

WAY TO GO MARIE. YES!!!!

Love and Hugs. Heather

(you should post this in accomplishments and successes)

 

[Heather]

I haven't cut myself.

Just so you know....I kept my promise too. NO CUTTING EITHER:D.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Extremely Proud of both of you Heather and Marie! Keep up the hard work! You can do it!

 

[Heather]

Hard work indeed. My resolve is wearing thin.... *sigh* Will these feellings ever go away?

 

[Brontie]

Heather,

Hang in there. You are stronger than you feel right now. Remember that.

Stay strong and stay above the battles.

{{{Hug}}}