• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

General Urgent Need of Advice - Boyfriend Has Cut Contact With Me

Status
Not open for further replies.
The simple answer Myaleah is that he believes not telling you is protecting you. Nothing you say to him will change this line of thought within him... he must work this out for himself. The more you push, the more he will run in order to feel as though he is protecting you from his pain.
 
Anthony, I am interested to know why it is that you keep warning about the cheating thing? Is this a common effect in PTSD sufferers who cut-off their partners, then those partners respect that need for space (As I have) and give it to them, then do they take this as permission to go out and cheat?
 
Bella, welcome to the forum. One thing you will see is if you address one sufferer you will have more than one respond. I have seen Anthony stress many symptoms or indiscretions PTSD sufferers are likely to do over time and I know my own experience. On this one topic I think it may seem more prevalent recently as so many people are posting about spouses or girlfriends/boyfriends wanting a "break" from a relationship. There really is no such thing IMO. It is I want to do what I want while you can't, or it will give me something to hold against you later.

Yes, many use this as a reason to go out and "cheat" but if you are not in a relationship is it really cheating? Again there is really no such thing as a "break". You are either there or not. These breaks are child's and head games no carer should tolerate IMO again and tell the suffer so. Draw a line.

Being cut off emotionally is not the same time as a break up or one of the infamous "breaks". Just because there is a shut down on one side does not mean they are out or possibly cheating.

On the other hand cheating can be part of common risk taking behavior. Just like you get lost in a bottle or other high. It is just something new and different and being that it is an escape from reality. When you are done you throw it out just like an empty bottle and no longer have use for it. You don't care if you are risking your life as you normally wish for death before healing and sometimes during it. You are selfish and cannot escape your personal hell. You don't feel like you have time for things as small as another's feelings that love you. You don't come back around to understand those things are not small until you begin to heal. Then you spend time trying to fix that mess you made. It is a very twisty warped path, but one that can be over come. This is up there with suicidal behavior, drunkenness, drug use, risk taking...

Of course Anthony's take may be different. This is just mine.
 
Thanks Veiled. I am happy to get responses from everyone, just addresses Anthony as he was m,aking the comments.

I can see where you are coming from in terms of general PTSDer behaviour there. Although, I don't think that my husband would go down that path. I have had my own issues with insecurities and suspected him of cheating and he resisted fiercly. I do believe him. I am starting to work our some of my own problems and one of my biggest motivations is so that I can be a more suitable carer that he feels he can come home to.

It is not just an emotional cut-off for us at the moment, he has moved out. It has been almost 3 weeks. :mad:

But I have faith. This forum is giving me even more. Hugs to you all.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top