Relationship Verbally attacked at the mall, why doesn't he fight back?

[Friday]

So you really do those things in order not to punch people's face?

Yes.

 

[Deanna]

Yes.

Well, I said he he wanted to fight too. But the thing is, this guy isn't a store owner or business minded. No one will come into my store in the mall and just stand there like some clown. Store owner should have called mall security but he was trying to avoid that.

I'm PTSD and a business owner and I say if people know they are going to act like "jerks", and to take my store, and turn into something else, for some dumb ass reason- then stay home or pay me some cash for some 30 minute thrill. Period... End of statement.

People come into a store and then want to make it about themselves? Not happening here.

 

[Friday]

Store owner should have called mall security but he was trying to avoid that.

I think you might want to go back and reread this thread. At no point was her husband acting like a jerk. He zoned out for a moment in a doorway, when asked to move (not in a calm manner by the clerk, but by being shouted at) not only moved, but apologized.

The shop worker must have been having a very bad day verbally attacked us and told us in very rude words to stop standing in the way. He did so in front of our children. The shop worker gave an angry and insulting rant and my husband did nothing but answer "Yes, Sir", "That won't be happening again, Sir", "Thanks for the information, Sir".

This is the sort of behavior that gets employees fired, not customers carted away by security.

 

[Deadman]

So you really do those things in order not to punch people's face?

Absolutely.

 

[Never_falter2]

Thanks @Deadman and @Friday. I feel I have been treating him maybe a bit unfair. *sigh* Sometimes it is difficult and I don't quite know what to do.

 

[scout86]

So you really do those things in order not to punch people's face?

That would be the best case scenario, yes.

A couple years ago, I was shoeing a horse. He was behaving poorly. That's dangerous. While I was under the horse, the SO of the owner threw something at a dog that was on the other side of the horse. My first, instantaneous, thought was to kill the dumb bastard. Nearly simultaneously (fortunately) I realized that wasn't a proportional response. So I did.....nothing.

Not long before that, my T had been talking about black & white thinking. As usual, he had a cute, subtle way of making his point. I got the idea, but had no idea why he was talking about it. :bag: On my way to my next stop that day, I was thinking about how lucky I was that I didn't actually beat the guy with the hammer I'd had in my hand at time. But I still was annoyed that I hadn't found a way to make the point that someone could have gotten hurt..... And then I remembered my T talking about how, in many situations, there's actually a RANGE of possible reactions..... About then I figured out why he'd been going on about black & white thinking. LOL

I think his reaction makes total sense and that it would be appropriate to apologize for giving him a bad time about it.

 

[Never_falter2]

@Deannas gap: Called the mall security? Why on earth? He did nothing forbidden. He did not plan to make anything "about himself", he just was afraid but last time I checked that was not against the law.
He is very friendly and nonconfrontional and really does not like to cause trouble. Actually the thought of causing trouble horrifies him.

As a store owner you may choose to tell people like us not to shop at your store. If this is what you want then more power to you. We sure won't bother you with spending our money in your store if we are not welcome... but two things you should consider:

1) Today it is possible to buy nearly everything online
2) People do not like to buy in shops where other customers get poor treatment. There is one shop I like to buy at because I once saw how their staff treated a homeless man very kindly and with great respect. It is a bit more expensive and not in my way but I really like their attitude

 

[anonymous]

No one will come into my store.

Yup. This is probably what will happen at any business in which customers are being forcibly removed from the store by security, over things like taking too long to walk through a door. Then to be treated like garbage by a hostile and aggressive employee.

Must have been one hell of a sale to be worth all that.

then stay home or pay me some cash for some 30 minute thrill.

This might actually be a good idea for you. You could setup an online storefront. The best part being, anyone who starts loitering on the site could be generating ad revenue.

People come into a store and then want to make it about themselves? Not happening here.

Isn't this the whole point of retail?
I don't know about you, but I don't buy things for myself because my neighbour said he likes it.

That employee was way out of line. Had he been only a little cranky while having to repeat asking the OP's husband to clear the way. That, I could chalk up to having a bad day.

To throw a temper tantrum and begin insulting the customer. Nope. I've worked retail.
I honestly believe that employees personal problems should stay at home. If I'm going to spend my money, that I earned, by not acting like a spoiled brat on a power trip.
I expect the people who work there to act in a professional manner. Honestly I don't give a shit what soap opera drama is afflicting the poor little employee. I'm there to buy something. If I want bad drama, I'll watch East Enders.

 

[Sweetpea76]

@Deanna's Gap I used to work retail back in the day, and managed 2 different shops. I also worked in the salon industry for 10 years.

In a similar situation, if one of my sales associates did anything less friendly than smiling and saying something like "Welcome to xxx, how are you today? Can I help you?" I'd have them in the back writing them up. You know why? Blah blah blah, customer service... but more importantly, don't mess with my money. I had sales quotas. I worked on straight commission in the salon.

People don't spend money where the service is bad. If customers were rude I may have thought "f*cker" to myself, but I kept that retail smile on my face, and smooched that ass all the way to the cash register.

 

[Deanna]

Hey Guys! I am SO SORRY! I see everyone has met my GAP! Friday was right when he said I didn't read the whole thread and I didn't. I thought I did and twisted the information in my head. I've lashed out two supporter threads but I did think about it and realized I have no support.

Online business I've done... I got burned out, but I know I need more time to myself to concentrate.

Again I'm sorry folks... if the employee was being a brat than yeah.. it would not be tolerated..

I think I need to read more, instead of posting ( or when I have clearer head) PTSD is still so new to me.. I do like this sight though..

I don't have a store per say.. I have a service. ( I'm super burned out on that) but it resistance to an online store again. I actually make nothing in what I do know.. and my income would triple if I got online, so I don't understand my resistance.

Thanks pointing this out.. because it did make me realize that i have no support and I.m lashing on the support.. I think I'm being controlled or something-- MY GAP

 

[Neverthesame]

Hey Guys! I am SO SORRY! I see everyone has met my GAP! Friday was right when he said I didn't read the whole thread and I didn't. I thought I did and twisted the information in my head.

The joys of ptsd.
The gift that keeps on screwing us over. :(
Thanks for clearing it up. :tup:

my income would triple if I got online, so I don't understand my resistance.

I find change very difficult to deal with. Even positive change, I fight against tooth and nail.
Maybe you have a similar issue?

Thanks pointing this out.. because it did make me realize that i have no support

Mistakes happen.
You do have support. I have no hard feelings towards you.
At anytime in the future, any post you make that I think I can have helpful input on. I won't hesitate to try to help, just because of a little misunderstanding. :hug:

 

[Deanna]

Mistakes happen.
You do have support. I have no hard feelings towards you.
At anytime in the future, any post you make that I think I can have helpful input on. I won't hesitate to try to help, just because of a little misunderstanding. :hug:

Ah, thanks so much! I don't usually get twisted too many times, but sometimes, the front of my brain, see's something that is not there. The last time it happened was something about freedom from religion act ( before it got taken care of) IT actually starts with some type of tightness in the forehead, that's stuck and it won't relax for awhile.

I have been reading, I like the fact this sight/site is here. Some of us indeed have no one. I have good friend/lover that is PTSD...and I wonder, if that's going to work really. He's a good guy, too. But he is full blown PTSD. IT breaks my heart because he has so many stitches in his head, from child trauma, there are sending him to a psychological brain doctor, to see if his overblown reactions, are coming from those places in his head. So, anyway, thanks for the support! :)