General What are they thinking?

[Changing4Best]

I don't know the whole situation, but I think you are probably correct in your thinking that. That is just my opinion from what all you have said here, he could surprise us all yet! HUGS to you, if you accept them. @jandk5721

 

[Justme5721]

My whole story is on thread "my husband has ptsd and missing". My mom who wasn't believing the ptsd thing when he left has since talked to a friend who's husband has it. Now she has hopes of us getting back together. Keeps saying i have never seen you so happy as you are with him. So my reply is have you ever seen me this unhappy and broken? I know she means well and there are moments i want nothing more than to have him back but now im trying to face reality.

 

[Justme5721]

I don't know the whole situation, but I think you are probably correct in your thinking that. That i...

I do accept and thank you.

 

[Freida]

Random thought of the day from the sufferer side.
Hubby was pissy all day. No particular reason, just having a bad day. Finally snaps at me one to many times and I call him out on it. Not really a fight- just a disagreement.
However in my PTSD mind I had already served him with divorce papers, figured out if I could keep the house or if I would have to sell when he moved out and started figuring out where I should job hunt. I was ready to be gone. Why? beats me. Just how it is

Not bad for an argument that lasted less than 30 minutes.

 

[Sweetpea76]

^^^ We know that's what y'all are thinking. I'm sure my guy has Uhaul on speed dial somewhere.

I won't worry until he calls them.

 

[Freida]

Uhaul on speed dial

shhhhh...that's supposed to be our secret!!

 

[Changing4Best]

Sufferer here, I live right next door to the Uhaul place!

 

[shimmerz]

lol lol lol. You guys crack me up.

I have to say though that I had an intimate relationship with uhaul for quite some time there.

 

[Justme5721]

Random thought of the day from the sufferer side.
Hubby was pissy all day. No particular reason, just...

How do you fight those urges to serve the divorce papers and call Uhaul?

 

[Justme5721]

Mine did call uhaul and served me with the papers...ugh. Im trying so hard to understand. I mean for me i get mad at him and even have had thoughts about leaving and what to leave him and what i would take and thats usually when he's just sitting in front of a video game for days while i do everything, but i never thought of leaving without talking to him. I could never just abandon him. I would never want him to worry but now i think he probably wouldnt worry he would just go on business as usual except he would have to cook his own meals and do his own laundry.

 

[Justme5721]

I have another question. So my husband also has physical disabilities, his back, shoulder and knees from being airborne, I have now noticed that prior to the episodes his disabilities become almost debilitating without doing something to make them worse. This time it was his back. I know he has pain everyday but usually manageable unless he does something like lifting heavy stuff. Weeks before he left his back became so bad he could barely walk. Last time it was his knees. The time before it was his shoulder and when we would go to bed his arm would shake. Is this normal?

 

[Freida]

How do you fight those urges to serve the divorce papers and call Uhaul?

I don't know. Honestly. I think some of it is the therapy that gets me to see that what I'm thinking is not reasonable even though it feels 100% real. Lets see.... last night I was thinking about bailing, which lead to divorce, which made me think about fiances ( HUGE trigger for me), which distracted me for a bit, and then .....I guess it wore off. But I think this might be something for you --- the thought of taking off NEVER leaves me. It's like a song you can't get out of your head. In the back of my head I'm always planning. I've made huge strides in therapy because my back up plan no longer has a back up plan --- but I think my go to will always be to run first, think later.

I could never just abandon him. I would never want him to worry but now i think he probably wouldnt worry he would just go on business as usual except he would have to cook his own meals and do his own laundry.

This is the challenge -- you are thinking like a normie. I'm guessing he doesn't see it as abandoning you. He thinks of it as outrunning his demons, or sparing you the ugly, or is totally shut down and not thinking anything.

I have now noticed that prior to the episodes his disabilities become almost debilitating without doing something to make them worse.

Yep -- I am in so much pain for 24 hours after my emdr appointment that I live on pain pills. I'm not sure if I've suggested it, but the book The Body Keeps the Score talks alot about that. The physical injuries you suffered back then will keep coming back until you cope with them. I don't always see my triggers, but when my hands start hurting I've learned that means I need to look for them. Otherwise the pain will just keep building. It's like your body reaches out and smacks you and says "deal with it!"