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What Are You Angry About?

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I am angry that I endure life instead of really living it. I am impatiently waiting for death. When a day is finally over I am relieved. Life sucks. Tedious and empty. I am angry that I am such a cluster-f#%k.

Void
 
I'm very angry lately. It's an anniversary time (isn't it always? I've sustained so many trauma that there's always one coming up) and I'm very symptomatic. I'm so angry today. I woke up angry after a nightmare-filled evening. I have suffered irreparable harm and have yet to see one penny in damages. I'm pissed.
 
I am angry that I endure life instead of really living it. I am impatiently waiting for death. When a day is finally over I am relieved. Life sucks. Tedious and empty. I am angry that I am such a cluster-f#%k.

Void

Dear Void,
I really understand where you are coming from and the endless existential fatigue we bear. Please hear me.... no one who has as much compassion as you do for others and is so supportive as you are can possibly be just 'a cluster of-f#%* I'm sure there is lots of it, coming from one who feels like a stinking festering garbage pail. But that is not all that I am and a cluster of.... is not all there is to you either!
 
Just have to 'ditto' that ...

Void you are a wonderful human being and your kind words have touched many a soul right here and pulled many people through when they thought they were alone and that nobody cared. You have been gentle with others and we need you to extend that same spirit to yourself too.

Here, you are loved and accepted and understood - as you are. I do like that you are writing - keep it up and get the crap out!

:Hug_emoticon:
 
Earlier today I was angry because whine whine whine -medical, money, time, inconveniences... but I pulled myself out of it--I'm no longer angry!

Anybody want to go for a walk and look at red leaves?
 
I am angry with people in general.

Midi....The leaves here are brown, dead, yucky.....No walks for me...
 
I am Angry because people do not respect eachother, and this way of life is being passed on to my generation and to kids now. I am angry at the hockey mom with the sign "baby on board" just cut me off and gave me the bird today. I am Angry that my goverment sent me to Iraq with a poorly trained unit and put us in combat situations with no body armor. I am Angry that my unit deployed into combat situations and half the officers and E7 & higher NCO's didnt know how to use weapons systems. I am angry my plat sgt left me and my gunner on the side of highway 1 in tikrit iraq surrounded by iraqi's (That was the first time I actually thought I would die - just two weeks earlier fellow americans where kidnapped, mutilated and hung from a bridge) - then when i confront him about it he threatens ME with corrective action because I was going to hit him. I am angry that I have the fear of hurting other people. I am angry because I have disrespected others in the same ways members of this forum suffer. I am angry that I do not understand how to express myself. I am angry I do not stand up for myself. I am angry I have no self esteem or love myself. I am angry because people only care for the appearnce of caring, they are like people without kids, handing the baby back to the mother after it craps its pants. Most unfortunately I am angry with myself. But that is why I am here, to learn how to love myself again, that things are not my fault, that I am normal with an issue that can be resolved.
 
When i look at where I have to live for the next 6 months I am angry with a person that I thought was my friend.
 
Cyndi, I read your initial rant just now. Wow, what a powerful outpouring. My heart truly goes out to you. You are obviously an intelligent, sensitive person, and it sounds like you deserve so much more. You have some good support here, I thank God for that.
 
I am angry at another person that has now gone out of my life..I knew it was coming i just did not expect it now......I am angry that I did not trust my gut.....I knew I would be the one hurt in the end and here I am!!!!
 
I am angry because after my accident, I worked INCREDIBLY hard to come back, even to walk again, the the insurance companies gang up on me when I was just starting to believe everything's gonna turn out great, and BOOM I'm in a f&^%king mental hospital, having the most f(*&ing bizzaro, horrifying experience of my life, and THEN, to top it off, the staff at the hospital treats me and others like shit, just sealing the whole f*&^king deal!!! It still crops up into my mind after 5 1/2 years!! Christ, am I a f&*%ing idiot, or can I just not let go... should I have a coffee with the head of psych and tell him I forgive him, or kick the f&^%ing attending psych in the nuts for what a f*&^ing a-hole he is??!!?

F*&k, I hate having that on my mind still!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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