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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Today I feel nervous about my trip this afternoon.
I feel like I hide feelings for so long.
I feel incomplete, lost, and angry.
I feel like nobody understands what I'm going through and that makes me feel ungrateful and selfish.

I feel so much hate for myself. I feel I tarnish everything I touch. I feel like I'm losing my wife due to the monster inside me. I feel like I've lost a part of me. I feel like it would of been better if I had died when I got attacked.
 
I don't feel affraid of death, I've been dead before and was brought back to life. What I fear is all the I have to get through to be dead again. I know I have some serious health problems, but I am not sure what they are. I am awaiting a doctor's appointment a week from now, and that appointment will JUST be to decide what Specialist(s) to send me to. I doubt my regular MD can do anything about what is medically troubling me, in fact she has chosen to do nothing about one thing that is wrong with me for anthoer 3 months at which time I shall get another Xray. In the meantime, the other problwm looks like it will require some kind of surgery. And that, of course, is causing me anxiety, because the surgery could uncover some other problem!
 

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