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What do you need emotionally right now, and why?

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I need resolution, justice about my neighbor having cr*ppy guests parking in front of my home. We shall see what happens. I will report to management each and every time. That is twice now and counting. I can't wait till Monday! I just want to feel less triggered!
 
I need to grieve and seek someone who can help successfully seek relief from the pain, shame, and trauma bonding I've been living all my life.
 
I am craving for some affection, and I do not wish to seek it from someone who will abandon me, the way I was abandoned in my childhood by someone who was meant to be accepting and caring towards me. I cannot see something (affection) that I should have had in my life, as missing from inside of me.
 
Idk, I was thinking how though years ago I threw out any pictures of myself from childhood up (there weren't many), but my sister insisted on keeping a school one when i was 7 (I didn't want her to). She threw it out recently. I should say without fanfare that I'm aware of, only rage, disgust and hatred I suspect. Which feels kind of- like being thrown out. So I guess I wish I had a sense of safety, or a place in the world I didn't have to beg for in vain, whether that rejection was violent or polite, but nonetheless is what it is. It is difficult to have to exist but not belong anywhere. I suppose that is 'unwanted' but notched up a few hundred levels. Or so it feels.

Yet strangely, I don't care to belong to anything or any one anymore. Their decisions and opinion of me is not my business. I just wish I could leave and disappear.
 
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