Medical What Do You Need On Receiving Bad News

[Abstract]

Any thoughts about engaging strength. Not weakness. Weakness versus normal help. Perception. Reality. What helps and what hinders.

 

[ladee]

I want to be told straight out, just the facts ma'm. And then I need to be alone. To process. When I am ready, I will invite support of those I trust. Depending on what it is, I want a second opinion, And will do my own research to ask further questions.

 

[Tinyflame]

Any thoughts about engaging strength. Not weakness. Weakness versus normal help

@Abstract , first to grieve. Then, to find out what "it's" about- what are the options, courses to pursue, likelihood of progression if not pursued; what does your heart and gut tell you?

Then, tell someone, or some, you trust. That is strength- not weakness.

Then, remember absolutely every illness diagnosis starts with fear; those with it will/ can help more with facts, and their experience. See if there's a support group, even online.

Normal help is letting others help you. It does them good, too.

Xox :hug:

 

[Abstract]

Thank you so much @ladee and @Junebug am reading and absorbing. And appreciate the support. Even though receiving it and speaking about it can be complicated.

 

[Tinyflame]

Most people, I've found @Abstract , find a lot of fear and questions dissipate when they can speak with others dealing with the same situation. (Not including Dr. Google. )

Sort of, you're not part of the club- until one day you are. Like ptsd.

:hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

@Abstract , I was thinking of one thing: I hate to say it, but there is virtually almost nothing out there that actually has a 'cure', other than some acute conditions. But I have never come across any condition you can't do some things about. (One more :hug: for the road, if ok :) ?).

 

[Lionheart]

This may have already been said but when I have received bad medical news in the past, I found that I had to attend to the resultant anxieties and depressive thoughts as efficiently and quickly as possible.

Which for me, means that I need to turn to my support team and closely examine my thoughts and feelings.

I also seek out second opinions and try to educate myself as much as possible as to treatment options so I can gain as much control as possible. (I hope I understood the question properly).

 

[Justmehere]

Any thoughts about engaging strength. Not weakness. Weakness versus normal help.

It’s normal to need help. It takes true courage and strength to ask for help.

Maybe it’s like learning a sport. Like a coach of mountain climbing. A coach gives advice, tools, etc. the coach may at times say something is wrong and come along side and help. Does that mean the coached person is weak? No. Just learning to navigate what is thrown their way along the journey of life up the mountainside. The medical staff comes alongside, administers treatments, helps find tools to cope with the cards that have been dealt, etc.

I had to get home health help after surgery. It was frustrating and felt humiliating at first. Then one sweet older nurse told me about how much she loves her job and helping others and how it helped her do her job when I asked for what I needed. That helped to hear. :)

The medical condition that lead to surgery is chronic, serious, and not curable. It will very likely get worse and worse over time. It’s hard to face. Lots of worries and anxieties pop up for me about the future and how I might be more vulnerable. I have to slow myself down and live today.

Ultimately, that’s all that is promised to us. This day, this moment, right now. My task ahead: figure out the next step, and then the next step after that.

I have worked with people with severe physical disabilities - and while I will not romanticize then / some of the very bravest hearts are in some of the most broken bodies.

You are brave too.

Brave doesn’t mean never feeling scared or anxious. It means feeling it, wrestling with it, and continuing to hang on through it.

 

[Abstract]

Thank you @Junebug. I have that belief too x

Thank you @Lionheart777 sorry about your medical stuff. The questions were vague and non specific and any answers are just fine. Thank you for your input. Its all helpful to me.

Thank you @Justmehere So sorry about your condition. It sounds like you have a healthy approach to this.
Its an interesting dilemma as I think sometimes being a bit shut off can make me not only feel but be stronger. On the other hand that very well may be old messages still stuck in there that are not in fact true. Then it comes to knowing who is trustworthy and able. I also seem to have a different idea about support when it comes to the general perspective versus support for me. Then of course we get the past muddling in there and trying to separate the 2.In the last couple of years I have realised I at times not only don't feel things that are there but also potentially do feel things that are not there. At times.