What Do You Want From Therapy?

[Pencil]

I think it's more of a nuanced thing.

Yes, but I would expect it to be a little more weighted.

 

[Abstract]

Is there something wrong with the test or with us?

The test probably properly reflects how complex people are. We seldom just fit neatly into boxes. That would be nice wouldn't it be? All nice and clean and not messy. Logical. Black and white. But the truth of it is that we have lots of different influences and genetic stuff and who knows what else going on. I am sure many would be much more definite and remember too that self tests can be very inaccurate and need to just be part of what psychiatrists would use to diagnose one if a proper diagnoses was the issue. Attachment Disorder or even Personality Disorder for that matter is merely a description of long term rigid patterns of relating that we have. I am afraid I was 38 % on disorganised on that test but really the underlying issue is of appropriate trust and appropriate protection in our relationships with others and ourselves. I don't believe coming out however much in each of those categories means we are neatly divided between modes of operating. There are some aspects of the way I relate to the world that are very healthy and others where my hurts are much more evident. Some of the strong points are that way because of my hard work in the past.

And no I am not in therapy at the moment and need to be. I have what feels like unscaleable hurdles and what I can only describe as terror. I try to inch forward a little each day.

So I think threads like this attract me as therapy is what is most on my mind at present. And because I fall into the comfort of using my brain and avoiding feelings.

I have also been very logical in T. I think our logical side is a useful one but really when used in this way and in t it is away of keeping people and feelings away and stops healing because the real raw pain is hidden away. So I don't really think it's a matter of integration as we all need these modes. It is rather a matter of finding the courage to stop hiding and discussing what we need to discuss.

More to say but enough for now.

Springer you are hysterical. :roflmao:

 

[Pencil]

The only thing I can say about what I want from therapy at this point in time is: I want a bloody therapist!

 

[Abstract]

And I am okay with the direction the thread is going.

Piratelady,
Just checking in to make sure its still OK. Do say if you want to guide it anywhere as it is your thread. :cool: It would be interesting to hear what happens with your t too.

 

[Abstract]

The only thing I can say about what I want from therapy at this point ...is: I want a bloody therapist!

I think that is a great realisation!:tup:

 

[Pencil]

I think that is a great realisation!:tup:

Goodness gracious Abstract - I've been 'rejected' by 4! How's that for a humiliating admission! Thank goodness no one here knows my identity. And I'm not serial killer or pedophile and I don't have substance abuse issues!!! Although I say I want one, I am not going through the process again. I'll follow Springer's lead and attach securely to the bottle ;). Just kidding Springer. I always thought we interview THEM and choose or reject as we go along. I know I canceled the second appointment with # 4, but I did that after weighing the odds of another 'declined'. At this point, sitting in the harbour and wondering whether to get back to open seas or try to get to the mainland, I couldn't sit around anxiously for a week waiting for a verdict. This forum is keeping me 'attached' :hilarious: to the mainland. I just couldn't handle another 'no', so I closed the door before she could. How's that for immature? :x3: If I ever try to go for therapy again, I'll have a telephonic interview and the T would have to sign a contract for a year :mad:

 

[piratelady]

Just checking in to make sure its still OK.

Honestly, I unwatched the thread and quit reading as it was too much to try to follow. But please keep on talking, it's fine :)

 

[Abstract]

I've been 'rejected' by 4!

I am really sorry to hear that. I can tell it hurts a lot and can understand why. There are many reasons why she may not have thought it would work and I think it is mature that she rather says it now. You may remind her of someone or she may think something about how she works wouldnt suit you. Remember what you wanted before. Its better this way and you will find the right t. What I have been advised to do and intend to try to do is to schedule appointments with 3 t's that sound right after you have asked them certain questions via email or phone. then take it from there. You will get there.

Honestly, I unwatched the thread and quit reading as it was too much to try to follow.

Thanks Piratelady! I understand and am glad you didnt mind. I have got a little side tracked here and actually it can be part of avoiding for me. I hope your conversation with your T goes or went well.

 

[Pencil]

There are many reasons why she may not have thought it would work and I think it is mature that she rather says it now.

Not ONE, but 4 in a row. I do get their shared main issue: T1 was freaked out by my 'traumatic transference', T2 and T3 (that I saw in an attempt to understand what happened with T1 :D) said therapy would destabilize me, while I am a single mother and breadwinner with no insurance in a country where we don't have social security. T3 also said she thought I needed to be hospitalised. I never waited for the 4th one's verdict. They reckon I'm in a terrible state and therefore won't see me. Is that ironic or hilarious?

 

[Pencil]

. Remember what you wanted before. Its better this way and you will find the right t.

You're right - I was about to settle for something that would not have addressed core issues anyway. Some day I might be brave enough to try, and not hide the central stuff. :)

 

[Pencil]

. Remember what you wanted before. Its better this way and you will find the right t.

You're right - I was about to settle for something that would not have addressed core issues anyway. Some day I might be brave enough to try again, and not hide the central stuff. :)

 

[Springer80]

Okay, I have a slot to call a trauma specialist at half one today (2.5hrs). How do you convey what you want when your inner freak out is freaking out.

This not hiding from the central stuff, is HARD but I don't have a choice, it has taken me over physically so I have to or I could lose my job and flat etc. You know what I'm scared of the most. that in the process of (hopefully) coming out the other side, it will have caused so much hurt that I won't be the person I did all the work for. I'll be a person who won't be capable of the things I wanted to do. Mind you I'm not being that now.

I'm trying to answer the original question for myself but I get so antsy I need to rest. My body wont let me consider it.