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What Gets You Out Of Bed?

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My depression is more of the walking dead type. I go through the motions. I go to work, I exercise the dog. I do the minimum required to keep life going. Bed isn't really a safe place anyway so I'm motivated not to spend extra time there. So I go to work but I wear whatever I can find. I bathe as to not attract attention. I run out of food, I run out of clean clothes and dishes, I fail to pay bills (not because the funds aren't available) I stare for hours at the wall and do nothing. I quit exercising. I quit trying because the energy is spent trying to keep up the minimum.

I don't have much of anything to pull me out of that. My therapist has me shut down- complete shut down- if I get there, as in medicate to the point of sleeping for 24+ hours. I usually can't see it coming. Can't see when I'm there.
 
Knowing it isn't good for me to stay in. Frequently, anger at the circumstance helps me to do what I need to do. Knowing and believing that the depression is not who I am. Taking vitamin D, iron, omega 3, antibiotics for underlying infections which contributed to fatigue. Incentives.. Also, connection with people. Through books for when I can't interact with people. Carl Jung has helped, the audiobook Man's Search for Meaning. Bloopers reels. Accepting that I need to choose to give myself rest, too.

Hoping your days get a bit brighter. :)
 
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The fact that I have to support myself..... No job, no roof, no food. Weekends are a different story though. There have been times I've attempted suicide, serious attempts. Been hospitalized for a week and gone right back to work.

I honestly believe that having something to absolutely FORCE you out of bed is the best medicine. For me, it's my job....
 
The fact that I have to support myself..... No job, no roof, no food.

When I'm doing well I have to plan my way around this one (paying things 3-4 months in advance, etc.), because when I'm doing badly, I just don't care. Homeless? Jobless? Awesome! No bills to pay, no alarms to sleep through. :wtf: Nooooooo self! That's. Not. How. We're. Supposed. To. Think. :banghead:

If I'd never had my son I don't think I'd have gotten proactive about both planning for hard times coming, and in circumventing them in every way possible. Without him, there is/was never any reason to take steps & make sure that the life I'd built would keep running in my absence. Having someone to care for doesn't get me out of bed, but it does keep me from laying down in it. At least not before his adventures are arranged (camps are fantastic, if I can just hold out until the next school break, and voila. He's sorted & having an amazing time, & I can be holed up an hurting, but life will go on without me), and his home will still be there for him to come back to. It was no longer having my son that kicked the fight out of me. Struggled on for a few years, but the life I'd built was for him, not for me. I don't need a life. I don't need anything.

That's what I struggle with the most. Trying to build a life FOR me. Trying to want, even if I don't need.
 
I don't know. Other than im always in flight mode and can't stand to feel trapped. ( I have yet to figure that one out) but are alot of things I have to make myself do, grocery shopping, shower a few times a week, etc etc. But getting out of bed? No problem.
 
Recently I've been staying in bed until mid day, as I hate this time of year, with the cold weather and colder shorter days.

The only time I do get up earlier is when I have to go the surgery to have my dressing changed, and even then, I'm tempted to go back to bed.

Well, I don't have anything to get up for, like I did in the summer time.
 
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