Sexual Assault What Happened When You 'outed' Your Attacker?

[Heather]

My brother in law sex. assaulted me about 8 years ago. When it came out - it was not good. My mother believed me but was furious that I went to the police.

My sister (her husband) refused to believe me and to this day wants nothing to do with me because, "I am a liar and all I do is lie" (according to her). So, he gets off scott-free and I get blamed for something that wasn't my fault.

It sucks not being believed and being called a liar.

 

[Mosaic]

@Heather There are always going to be people that call you a liar, even if the whole thing was recorded and broadcasted, even if he admitted it, people would still victim blame.
It makes it harder when you go to the police and nothing comes of it because everyone assumes that if you're telling the truth the police will believe you and he would be in jail but noone realises how hard it is to actually prove it.

Do you regret it?

 

[Heather]

@Mosaic The only part I regret is that my daughter has had to grow up without her cousins who she was extremely close with. My sister refuses to let her be any part of their life.

But what was the alternative? Say nothing? And let him get away with it? I think not.

 

[Heather]

My daughters abuser: Turning it around and putting the blame back on the victims!

Take responsibility for your actions!

 

[Mosaic]

@Heather you did the right thing, people will always victim blame it's disgusting. Right now part of me is really wishing I could do something, say something. I feel like I'm about to implode.
The truth is out there for you, it doesn't matter what people say

 

[shimmerz]

I have learned the hard way not to warn my enemies I'm coming.

I so wish I had this in me. I have been groomed to play the defensive role and have no idea how to take an offensive stance. I realized that in the house of horrors debacle.

I love the saying.... but I am so busy in my head trying to figure out how to explain myself, disappear, say the right thing for fear of death being bestowed upon me for some reason, that I am like an elephant trying to tiptoe through the tulip bed. :banghead::banghead::banghead:

 

[Heather]

@Mosaic I am sorry for your pain. I truly understand what it feels like to be about ready to implode.

It took so much courage for me and my daughter to do this.... Some days I feel like I have a lot and some days I feel like I have known.

Hugs to you.

Heather

 

[Brenton]

I haven't told anyone but my wife and my therapist. My parents just think I'm mentally ill, they don't know its trauma.