What Have You Told Or Haven't Told Your Partner

[Bill Simmons]

It is strange for me.My wife has seen as much or more than I have so we are kinda like from the same hell only different day. I can not even explain to anyone the shit that really eats away at me. It is not really about the blood and gore, the killing or any of that shit. It is about being locked up in some place that was so far back in the past I am not sure what is even real anymore. The smell of JP4 will snap my head around. It's like I left there but I never really left. When my wife talks about the war it is all too real for me, I understand only to well what she feels.

I am not sure it is a good idea to talk to her or her talk to me on a real detailed level. I don't know, I never really thought about it very much. Sure I had friends who did not make it home but they were not my uncle or my next door neighbor. There was a little less of a personal connection for me. Being sent to a war and living in a war is two different things. You pick up a gun because you have too, and I think the hate runs much deeper. One of the reason we don't talk about it to much, because the anger she has for the people involved is huge and it gets to me .

 

[IraqVet86]

I have opened up to my wife on a couple of occasions, when I was incredibly drunk. My therapist told me to (he didn't tell me to drink though). When I did, she cried and that just makes the situation even worse. I told her about my guilt, anger, and regret. I even told about a few specific things and she ALWAYS cries. I can't handle that. It's enough for me to have to shoulder this without upsetting my wife so much.
I am so freakin' glad I found this site. I've made 3 posts today and talked and read about more than I have in several months with anybody except my buddy who was there with me.

 

[Bill Simmons]

We can talk about shit here...no one will give you a hard time....good place to be if you need a place to talk.

 

[Jimmy1]

IV86, you have to be in the right frame of mind to want help in the first place before anything works.

Realistically you have to almost hit rock bottom sometimes. I have seen many a seasoned veteran get that low and put out their hands for help.

Keep reading and ask as many questions as you can. If we can't answer them then we will find someone who can.

I am glad we are helping someone else.

 

[Pepsi]

Welcome IraqVet86. This site has been a lifesaver and I came in like a bad uncle crashing the wedding. Heya guys and gals, I'm going to the mountains for a week just get get some quiet. I'm doing OK, no small part of it thanks to Bill. Best and most personal respects to each of you.

 

[Jimmy1]

Awesome Pepsi, hope you get some great relaxation done.

 

[JennyMac]

Enjoy the quiet and the mountains Pepsi...Cheers!

 

[Pepsi]

Heya everyone, thanks for my messages. JUst lost my job. Now just the whiskey, the vodka, and the f*cking family who stay with me anyway. WTF? I don't get ANY of it. I just want to sleep. They never should have let us come home, its not like they really want us here anyway. While I'm unemployed I thought I might train for the Tough Mudder in the fall. Maybe that will burn out some hate. Some anger. Its eating me alive and I'm quit sure its my fault. I don't even WANT them to know what I know, but I can't let it go. Maybe I just have to burn it out. Now the wars are over so no chances to go back, what a f*cking joke. Just gotta burn it out someh0ow before it burns me out. I hope you are well Jennymac and COmbatGoldfish. I hope youre days are looking up.

 

[Bill Simmons]

You just remember what I told you about the bottle I am dropping in the Gulf Stream. Hang tough and suck it up till you can make it better. Hell is a big place...takes a bit to cross.

We are not "they" and we do want you around here. Just know we are here for you.

 

[Fargo1]

Pepsi,

Unfortunately the anger doesn't burn out man. If feeds on itself...and you. You gotta do something to get ahold of it. Make ships in a bottle. Mow the lawn. Something to get it out. Or else it is gonna eat you and everyone around you.

Brother, know that we are here. We do want you around and we want you to get better. And you can get better. It sounds cliche, but you can't see when the dust is flying. Right now, you can't see the getting better part. Hang tough man.

 

[Jimmy1]

Pepsi,

Unfortunately the anger doesn't burn out man. If feeds on itself...and you. You gotta do something to get ahold of it. Make ships in a bottle. Mow the lawn. Something to get it out. Or else it is gonna eat you and everyone around you.

Brother, know that we are here. We do want you around and we want you to get better. And you can get better. It sounds cliche, but you can't see when the dust is flying. Right now, you can't see the getting better part. Hang tough man.

Your right on Fargo. I did not listen and my anger pushed my family and my ex-wife away. I though she would stay with all that 'till death do we part' crap, but why would you stay with someone who hates the world. We always hurt those closest to us.

As Fargo said, we are here for you, but you have to find help and get rid of the anger. Every one of us have been what you have been through. Every one of us have seen the violence and devastation of combat. I wanted to go back too, but they kicked me out and I had years of anger over that issue alone.

Go find a veterans centre and talk to another vet. Generally they can put you on the right path.

It's like climbing up a greasy ladder though, sometimes you can gain a fair bit of height, yet other times you fall a couple of rungs. Eventually you will see the top though mate.

 

[tho9900]

hey you around dude? havent heard from you in a bit... just seeing whats up... holler at me!