What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

Tornadic Thoughts

MyPTSD Pro
You're so right, @ladee . Love is pretty much all I have of true value to offer to both myself and him. I've prescribed myself extra big doses of it as of late and that helps me to more healthily discern how/when/if I can direct energies towards his cause - along with processing all the shit it stirs up from my past as I remember how it felt to repeatedly act out of desperation. Additionally, trying to help lovingly support my sister as she once again lives through the heartache.

I wrote him a very lengthy letter that spelled out why I'm not there to bail him out, nor take on any responsibility of being the person to sign anything pertaining to his release, nor offer him a place to live (based on many reasons beyond his behaviors), fully explained the effects his actions of the last decade (and beyond) have had on bringing me to that difficult yet very necessary decision, and to hopefully plant some more seeds of similar hard-learned lessons/wis-dumb that can maybe one day help something click in his brain to recognize that the help he needs has far exceeded my/our ability to give it. May he summon the will to want to do what it takes.
 

bird_on_a_wire

MyPTSD Pro
I think @Tornadic Thoughts remember too he is not in his right mind, whether it be the grip of the addiction, or the demons that tell him it's what he needs to do to survive. Love is a lot when there's guilt and self-hatred. JMHO. Hugs to you. ????

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Totally not important, but I heard (& I think it's true), that anxiety is trying to think our way to a feeling of safety.

Totally also not related, this cycled up (how Idk) about privilege, and thought it helps me understand the BLM movement more deeply. All I know is I listened at first because it sounded like my neighbour! :

 

mumstheword

MyPTSD Pro
I think @Tornadic Thoughts remember too he is not in his right mind, whether it be the grip of the addiction, or the demons that tell him it's what he needs to do to survive. Love is a lot when there's guilt and self-hatred. JMHO. Hugs to you. ????

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Totally not important, but I heard (& I think it's true), that anxiety is trying to think our way to a feeling of safety.

Totally also not related, this cycled up (how Idk) about privilege, and thought it helps me understand the BLM movement more deeply. All I know is I listened at first because it sounded like my neighbour! :

You should know (although don't take my word for it, look into and investigate, research for yourself) that the BLM movement is funded by George Soros and money donated to them goes the the Democrat party, Joe Biden's campaign, in particular, at the moment. The Democrat party is also highly funded by George Soros (he is open about his hatred of the US) and leaders of the BLM movement are open about being Marxists.
 

bird_on_a_wire

MyPTSD Pro
Oh @mumstheword , you are aware of what I am not, and I am not American (not sure if you are?) . Probably a poor choice of expression on my part, I meant by BLM movement, the right for all people to be treated with equal dignity, respect and opportunity. An end to prejudice and discrimination and harm of all forms, whatever it is in the name of. There are so many (some of us here too) who face obstacles that aren't equal across the board. I think many people do want to see a change towards more dignity, kindness, and increased care and concern for one's fellow man. At least i think that change would be for the better, because it certainly isn't just (or justified) now, in so many ways. And that empathy is not enough, or imagination. That is all I meant.

Oye, too tired to wash my face, though I should.

Woke up yesterday to Thich Nhat Hanh on audio talking something about (a mutually agreed upon) ~taking the cake out of the fridge (to share), rather than having a disagreement or fighting (I think). Was priceless, said you can even use toast. ? At some point must listen to it while awake.
 

Tornadic Thoughts

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks, @bird_on_a_wire . I definitely know he's not thinking rationally at all because of many reasons. To be honest, he wasn't thinking rational/healthy/solution-oriented thoughts outside of those confined walls for years on end, either, even with the certainty of familial, monetary, and other supports. Unfortunately, knowing that, on a level deeper than what I wish I understood, doesn't change what I'm able to provide as help currently. It's a shitty situation and it bothers me endlessly.
 

mumstheword

MyPTSD Pro
Oh @mumstheword , you are aware of what I am not, and I am not American (not sure if you are?) . Probably a poor choice of expression on my part, I meant by BLM movement, the right for all people to be treated with equal dignity, respect and opportunity. An end to prejudice and discrimination and harm of all forms, whatever it is in the name of. There are so many (some of us here too) who face obstacles that aren't equal across the board. I think many people do want to see a change towards more dignity, kindness, and increased care and concern for one's fellow man. At least i think that change would be for the better, because it certainly isn't just (or justified) now, in so many ways. And that empathy is not enough, or imagination. That is all I meant.

Oye, too tired to wash my face, though I should.

Woke up yesterday to Thich Nhat Hanh on audio talking something about (a mutually agreed upon) ~taking the cake out of the fridge (to share), rather than having a disagreement or fighting (I think). Was priceless, said you can even use toast. ? At some point must listen to it while awake.
Oh, it sounds like you are talking about loving-kindness and if so, I am totally with you. And envisioning a more enlightened world. A beautiful thing to do with your mind-power!!!!

Edit: And no, I'm not American, but I admit to being a bit of an Ameraphile! I'm Australian, although my 7 children are genetically connected to America (their dad is part native American, although we don't know from which people) and my oldest daughter went to NY last year.
 

bird_on_a_wire

MyPTSD Pro
I fell on the ice yesterday, late, went down hard flat on my back and took a double bounce and hit the back of my head. Some guy in a pick up truck stopped and asked if I was ok, I made a lame joke, and then he offered to take me to the hosp if I wanted. Which made me think a kindness or care from a stranger is possible, even if kindness or care from non-strangers does not exist.

No, what is on my mind is having been f'ed over and lied to, again. Always when it matters. But only to me.

The Year of The Purge. 👍
 
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