What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

Rosebud

MyPTSD Pro
Hope you are feeing a bit better @Survivor3 . 🤗

Well 2 did cancellations, 3 apologies, and though I feel shame, not more I can do than that, and knowing my own limitations, and also the facts. Headed to the next step soon which will require throwing a lot out.

Just saw @survivor , Idk really? Sad, disappointed, relieved, tired, emptiness, numbness, I suppose. Tired Big Time of letting others down too, getting in the way. How about you? Hope the nausea is abating. Have a happy Sunday. 🤗

ETA, I suppose I realize too, all that distance created was fear, which created more distance, and created more fear. And still does, and I doubt it's surmountable. And then some of the fears were realized, despite trusting. Which was the gamble I took, I suppose. But really broke my heart, because that was what I had for coping, it was not a luxury or side dish. It wasn't obliterated with trials, not deaths (though it took hits), or Covid, or abuse, but simply absence of care. Which, however, I accept as genuine.
 
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Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Hope you are feeing a bit better @Survivor3 . 🤗

Well 2 did cancellations, 3 apologies, and though I feel shame, not more I can do than that, and knowing my own limitations, and also the facts. Headed to the next step soon which will require throwing a lot out.

Just saw @survivor , Idk really? Sad, disappointed, relieved, tired, emptiness, numbness, I suppose. Tired Big Time of letting others down too, getting in the way. How about you? Hope the nausea is abating. Have a happy Sunday. 🤗
what are the cancellations and apologies? Throwing stuff out?
 

Rosebud

MyPTSD Pro
I was thinking a silly thought, why does it matter what anyone believes or doesn't, and the differences? (Provided it's not harmful to innocent people, or shoved down your throat, in which case you should walk away from it, like anything unsolicited.) Like I was thinking, re atheist, or other beliefs- the real fact of science is no one knows, yet we make ourselves into 'Gods' ourselves (we are all-knowing), arguing all the while on something that in reality, no one can say from personal experience with 100% certainty. But more importantly, why argue, why not live and tolerate or embrace the differences, as unique as each person. It's rare to get 10 people in a room to agree- pro/ anti Trump; economics; does-this-dress-make-me-look-fat? My grandma was RC & married 2 men who weren't, but she used to say, "Live while you're living you're a long time dead". Kind of sums it up, I think.

I had a woman today say, "I don't think I'm dead, who knows, maybe I am?" I said "I hope not, I had higher hopes for Paradise than this". 😛
 

Rosebud

MyPTSD Pro
Hope our dog is ok, tripped/ fell in the front leg x3 times tonight. 😟

Waiting, hearing the news, woman complaining of feeling used because of her color, yet opportunities given were a chance of a lifetime (Obama inauguration, etc), then responded back to them 'They were a MotherF*cker', which apparently drew disapproval from some members of the black community. Now writing a memoire. Wow. We're held in insubordination if we disagree or don't like our tone. 😟 I think as people it's all getting under our skin, and so much default is personal. She may be right, +/or he was/is a lousy judge of character. I suppose there is a space for attitude there- she got 3 choice appointments but felt not utilized enough.. but I suspect no one is at such events?
 
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Rosebud

MyPTSD Pro
Oops, missed the edit. At work everyone is shirking and fudging numbers, I'm not and they're adding more on to more, even when there's no room for more. They've tried to add so much they have to get back to me because there's no where to put anyone. But I'm the only one without downtime , let alone in excess.

I know the pup scraped her elbow probably when i fell a few days ago and she pulled herself (she was too fast) across the frozen and rocky ground before I could catch up to her. I hope that's just what caused it.

Also, oye, I forgot! Hoping someone is tech-savvy? (I am not), think I might have to change my phone plan shortly (by mid- March), I do not understand- something about VoLTE enabled, (but I have that feature on my phone, so maybe not?), and what kind of options I have, re: my number etc. I did not call them yet as people said they waited on hold for ages only to fall off.
 
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