What is this? reaction during emdr

[Hopeforlife]

I am currently at a very difficult part of going through EMDR. I had therapy yesterday and I have not been able to verbally talk about a specific memory one of which is probably one of the more difficult. I began to get a little upset and then I felt like something took over my emotions. I felt like I had a huge itch in my entire body. The pain was unbelievable and I was rocking back and forth. I was still sort of in control but I was very spaced out. Very vulnerable. I have had episodes of flashbacks and disassociation frequently but nothing quite like this. Any ideas? Was I reliving the pain of that particular memory? Body memories?

 

[Angelwings]

I'm sorry you had that experience. I have had overwhelming pain in flashbacks and with body memories, so I'm thinking it could be either. Sometimes flashbacks effect just one sense at a time.

 

[Hopeforlife]

Thank you @Angelwings. It’s really horrible. I am sorry you have experienced this also. It caught me off guard so I’m freaking out about it a little. I am not sure that the specific pain was related to the trauma though. It was so powerful! Could this be abreaction?

 

[Angelwings]

Thank you @Angelwings. It’s really horrible. I am sorry you have experienced t...

@Hopeforlife

"Abreaction - German: Abreagieren) is a psychoanalytical term for reliving an experience to purge it of its emotional excesses—a type of catharsis. Sometimes it is a method of becoming conscious of repressed traumatic events."

Wikipedia

I suppose if you go by that definition it could be abreaction. There are other definitions that contradict that, though...hard to say, but google is your friend.

 

[digger]

Could this be abreaction?

Were you able to discuss it at all with your therapist at the time? I think it would be something to bring up with them to see what they think.

 

[Hopeforlife]

@digger we spent the last bit of the session just trying to get me together. We didn’t actually discuss what happened. I do plan on going over it with my therapist next week but I am not sure I can last that long. Im on the edge of something! Anxiety is heightened and to top it off I have a stress headache and a stiff neck. :(

 

[digger]

Would it be acceptable for you to contact her and tell her that you're still struggling with your reaction to the session and that you're worried you aren't able to cope and ask does she have any suggestions for you to cope till you see her?

 

[Hopeforlife]

@digger yes it's possible. I don't like to though as I hate the dependency if that makes sense. It is a personal achievement if I make it to the next weeks without emailing etc I think I really have to this time.

 

[digger]

@digger yes it's possible. I don't like to though as I hate the dependency if th...

I totally get that. Very much the same. But it sounds like this might be a situation you could allow yourself to make an exception for? Perhaps try and take some pride in being able to recognise that on this occasion you need a little extra support and in allowing it for yourself?

 

[Hopeforlife]

Yes I don't want the personal guilt afterwards if I make contact. It's getting late here, so I think I will message her in the morning and see what she suggests. Thank you for your replies @digger.