this was brought up to me by my tharpist. i love the topic because my childhood was not safe and i still find myself doing major things to bring it back....today i bought myself dresses i can play dress up in and pretend to be belle or ariel. i find myself constantly cuddling stuffed animals when no one is looking. i even still sleep with my mothers garments because they are soft and bring me joy. i have a friend who will dress up in onsies with me every once in a while and we run around at night just pretending we are kids again. not to sure if this is healthy but it does help me cope :).
I have one Christmas (cat dressed like Santa riding a unicorn) shirt that I'll wear out when a part calls inside to lighten up ....that bit of silliness makes me feel good-it's playful and I dress very conservatively-that shirt is really out of character but a part of me likes it a lot! If I'm going someplace where someone might ask questions, I just wear a sweatshirt over it. For someone who dressed conservatively, I bought purple tennis shoes....they made me feel good too. I have several stuffed animals, ....I'm one who also likes my stuffed animals because they are soft. I play more games now, do more artsy things, and have more fun than I ever did before.....but that all came with time. My
Self I guess you could call it-the part of me that keeps my public behavior in check when my internal system wants to play....helps with allowing it in the proper time and place and helps me keep things that are private-private. I found that my first senses, when healing started, were sensory-or
touch....hence the love of a soft blanket, a soft stuffed animal, and the feel of different materials gave comfort like they do to a baby. Colors were brighter, and taste came back stronger. Then there was the kinesthetic part....I was dancing and my balance so much better and more acute. I think everyone heals differently. So, enjoy your happiness and the renewed senses you may be feeling and just enjoy the things that feel good...you deserve it. It is also really stress reducing.
I also went through a period of time fantasizing that I was someone I wasn't and it was an amazing feeling-I think dissociative in many ways. I fantasized I was AnnE-the wanted orphan from Green Gables on Netflix. I'd sit down and watch the TV show episodes and I felt like I was somewhere else when I watched it....like I was almost her.......and in that moment I was wanted and loved but so clumbsy, and socially inept, and traumatized like her. I wanted to be like AnneE so very badly because in her story....she was loved by her aunt and uncle..... I think that experience was healing...but now, a couple years later, I see the show and the actress differently..... I'm beginning to like who I am as I am and I don't dissociate nearly so often to find my happy place.
So I say, enjoy the happiness you derive from believing you are special. It's an amazing feeling- one worth hanging on to....because we are special and
should feel this way. 
