What makes a religion abusive/cult?

[LeiaFlower]

My siblings and I all grew up in our parents religion. However, not all of us see the religion as being abusive. One of my siblings stated the religion as being a cult and found a different religion in Christianity. When reading what makes a religious abusive, I found myself checking a lot of boxes.

The religion had a strong influence on entertainment (books, movies, music, games, TV), how we dressed, who we associated with, how one parents, advanced education, employment, etc.

Other religions and the outside world were demonized, literally stated that they were being controlled by the Devil (Satan).

Due to the idea of religion being a “safe space” it allowed for random strangers to be in our lives. Which lead to me being sexually abused. When I tried to make a report I wasn’t gaslight but everything had a loophole. Even though they publicly profess actions against abusers. They state that the witnesses I had weren’t witnesses because they were other children. They stated that even though the document list for me to bring a confident of my own choosing it had to be someone from their religion. None of which is stated in their public documents. It just seemed they were making things up as they go, and what they presented to the public was not the whole truth.

The icing on the cake is the inexplicit isolation from the outside world. Meaning that if you wanted to no longer be apart of the religion you were treated as an apostate, your former community will no longer talk to you and you would be the one they demonize. Even if you try to explain what you experienced everyone in the religion will be told not to listen to you because you’re being controlled by Satan.

I can laugh about it now at how obviously cult like it was, but in it it feels normal. I turned away from religion as whole. My friend who was raised Catholic went through the exact same abuse. It made me wonder, from your experience in religion what did you find abusive? And what do you think makes a religious organization a cult?

 

[Dynamic]

When they use anything from the belief system to control you for themselves

 

[MrMoonlight]

what do you think makes a religious organization a cult?

Historically I think when the cult leader becomes God...the one to be worshipped...or the only one that can speak to God.

I'm very sorry for the abuse you suffered.

 

[Teamwork]

Belief is choice. I was raised cult-no choice, punitive, control, hierarchy, fear, dominance, abuse of scripture to suit leaders , harms followers.
my kids were raised within a church setting, open discussion. Choose what they now believe, attend where they want or not at all. I had to deconstruct and challenge many of my beliefs in order to believe what I believe now. I do not think I had many beliefs back then as everything was indoctrinated where you do not get to challenge.

 

[Sideways]

Cults are typically led by a charismatic leader. Broadly, that’s the definitive feature.

Other typical features are: isolating members from society, a spiritual transcendence creed, inflexible rules about behaviour, and activities that are damaging to, and exploitative of, the individual members.

There’s quite a lot of research on cults: what they are, why/how they’re so successful captivating people, and the fallout when one leaves. I found Daniel Shaw’s work incredibly helpful, but there’s a broad range of resources out there.

That said? There’s a lot of religious (and social) groups that are very cult-like, to varying degrees, with the typical features you see in cult. And there’s also a lot of work been done on religious sects that are cult-like, and arguably began as a cult.

‘Cult’ is also used a pejorative term to describe socially awkward groups, or social and cultural groups that go against the social grain. But that’s more about defining the group as socially-dysfunctional outsiders than identifying them as a group which follows a charismatic leader.

 

[caroline_13]

My siblings and I all grew up in our parents religion. However, not all of us see the religion as being abusive. One of my siblings stated the religion as being a cult and found a different religion in Christianity. When reading what makes a religious abusive, I found myself checking a lot of boxes.

The religion had a strong influence on entertainment (books, movies, music, games, TV), how we dressed, who we associated with, how one parents, advanced education, employment, etc.

Other religions and the outside world were demonized, literally stated that they were being controlled by the Devil (Satan).

Due to the idea of religion being a “safe space” it allowed for random strangers to be in our lives. Which lead to me being sexually abused. When I tried to make a report I wasn’t gaslight but everything had a loophole. Even though they publicly profess actions against abusers. They state that the witnesses I had weren’t witnesses because they were other children. They stated that even though the document list for me to bring a confident of my own choosing it had to be someone from their religion. None of which is stated in their public documents. It just seemed they were making things up as they go, and what they presented to the public was not the whole truth.

The icing on the cake is the inexplicit isolation from the outside world. Meaning that if you wanted to no longer be apart of the religion you were treated as an apostate, your former community will no longer talk to you and you would be the one they demonize. Even if you try to explain what you experienced everyone in the religion will be told not to listen to you because you’re being controlled by Satan.

I can laugh about it now at how obviously cult like it was, but in it it feels normal. I turned away from religion as whole. My friend who was raised Catholic went through the exact same abuse. It made me wonder, from your experience in religion what did you find abusive? And what do you think makes a religious organization a cult?

It makes your world, and you, smaller.