"What's Wrong With YOU?" - How To Respond?

[BethRSA]

Petchen!

I like your sense of humour! :smile:

 

[NarcSis]

I was recently asked to deal with the question of "Why were you off work?" Not many people at work know why I am off. As a medic, do I admit to having a "mental issue" and say I was diagnosed with PTSD? I am struggling with whether to be honest or to deflect this question. I really don't know how to go about this. I'd like to be honest but there is also the HUGE stigma in my field that I would have to deal with. Any advice?

 

[Tinyflame]

I have found that in trying to deal with ptsd, I have been left on the equivalent of "truth serum".

I would ask myself, "Who needs to know? To what extent is it their business, and how many details are they required to know?"

You are not being dishonest to say you are off work, or that it is "work-related", IMHO.

Personally, knowing what I know, seeing how others react, I wouldn't tell anyone more than the bare minimum, and only if that was necessary.

When I am asked a question that is too personal, sometimes I ask the other person something very personal about their business. That seems to end that line of questioning.
Or I say, "I give up, why am I (off work, etc)?", lol

Do what feels right to you. You know who you can trust better than anyone else.

 

[Petchen]

Medic

"Work related injury." Period!

You are not obligated to share anything with anyone. Especially those you know whom are going to denigrate or question you as if they are qualified to do so.

Just practice these in the mirror...so you are prepared.

Work related injury.
That's private.
I don't have to share that with you.
It's none of your business.

Junebug is spot on!

Beth! Thanks...sometimes I wonder if my sense of humor is a bit to stark. But oh well...glad you got a laugh or two.

;-)

~R

 

[goingonhope]

2) What could I say if/when anyone asks that again? The only moderately 'sensible' come-back I can think of is "and what makes you so perfect?"

If you could think quick enough or even talk, which I don't know that I'd be able to, I'd like to respond to any such laughing ignorant, rude, arseholes: "Nothing as bad as it would be if I exchanged places with you."

LOL, I'm sorry, but some people are just so freakin ignorant that it hurts.

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

I have chosen to be VERY careful about who I share my diagnosis with - both with PTSD and several physical auto-immune related disorders. Most people will ask this question out of morbid curiosity only - not because they truly care about your well-being. So for instance - if someone were to ask me why I was so jumpy (and I am - I'll admit) - I would ignore that in a way - and ask - do you normally sneek up on people?) - If someone were to ask me why I am in a bad mood - I would reply - didn't think I was - but I appreciate you pointing it out....etc. When you answer this way - it leaves little room for more questions. Anytime, I have given more information to someone not in my "trusted group" - I end up feeling like not only am I explaining myself but I'm defending myself - I doubt myself enough - I don't need others feeding into that.

 

[Flower]

Hi Starshine!

My trauma stems from mobbing by peers as well and always seemed to include things like "what is wrong with you?" or "are you crazy?" etc. This came from the tormentors and also other random people I might cross paths with while upset. They'd laugh and think it was funny to mess with someone who was very obviously scared out of her mind. People do and say mean things a lot, but it doesn't make it right. Sorry about the mean people!

I wish I could tell you I found the most clever retort ever, but sadly I never came up with a good one to defend myself with. Making them think I was crazy enough to hurt them did though... although that is not the best approach possible, I'm sure.

take care,
Flower

 

[starshine]

Thanks so much everyone.

I came up with a new one. "How about you? Are you so perfect?"
And "ah, so it was you at the psychiatric clinic. I was discharged. How about you - what's your diagnosis then?" Which is kind of deliberately provocative, and I would probably never have the courage to say it, because I get into fight-flight or freeze mode...

 

[sigh]

Oh Geez. This is a really good thread. I get a lot of dissociation where I'm sort of talking to myself. This leads to extreme confusion with the person who is talking to me. And, re:shaking, I lost my Driver's License for two years for shaking.
I'd say something like, "look in the mirror."
What I hate is when people are pretending they don't notice, but they're making all kinds of weird faces at you. If you should, "I'm crazy, Okay," it's a problem, but if you say something, it's worse than ridicule.

 

[cragger65]

Some great approaches on this one. Enjoyed your sense of humour Petchen, and Sunnybrook, you shared some wise words. Thanks, gave me some perspective on my own (sometimes overly revealing) habits. I think I seek disapproval sometimes, so that outer opinion might more closely coincide with my inner feelings. Must work on changing that, from both ends now. Your approach is very common sense and balanced.