Relationship When He Said He Is Done Is He Really?

[TENESSA]

Based on my experience with my vet, he never meant it it but rather was just overwhelmed with a plet...

Thank you ... great insight

 

[heyheyhey]

I wish I could edit my post, but what I wanted to say was that I think it could help you more to take the time to be kind and compassionate to yourself rather than to figure out what he meant or not :). I know that's a completely normal and rational impulse (i had it with my ex, not a PTSD sufferer, but for other reasons) i guess you will never really know, and neither will we. And trying to spend time figuring it out and them out is draining, exhausting and can leave you feeling more hurt and more twisted up. We have posts on self-care here on the board, they might help you too :). Because being there for someone with PTSD that isn't well managed can be just as exhausting, painful and draining.

 

[Broken_hearted_tx]

just sounded so much like my guy. I feel your pain and just feel so lost with a million questions.

 

[TheMinsterman]

Very good point. Thank you...I'd like for the happy ending but the pain I feel now is too great. I shal...

I think we all come on here hoping we get the answer we want to hear and that it will work itself out, but the sad fact of PTSD is it's completely unpredictable in terms of outcome. He may come round and realise you're worth the short term stress of overcoming his emotional insecurity around letting somebody in, but equally he could be done and not wanting to string you along for months because that would hurt you and be unfair.

If you focus on you, make sure you're self-care is on point and go from there that will be best for you, long term. If he comes back, well, you'll be feeling better within yourself and can deal with how you feel if and when it happens, if he doesn't, you've not allowed yourself to take it personally. I actually think he was really strong to open up and say what he did, it means he obviously see's you as a good person and he's trying to save you pain.

Read the threads on here, it will help you process what has happened. It can and will hurt, BUT, it will help you understand and see that you're not to blame.

 

[Seeking]

As I read through the different post it sounds so similar that we may ask ourselves "is this my man??" It's just we seem to be going through the same stuff although every story is not of course the same, our sufferes seem to exibit some of the same struggles and challenges. I dont know about you but I actually get comfort knowing that I'm not alone.

 

[TheMinsterman]

As I read through the different post it sounds so similar that we may ask ourselves "is this my man??"...

This forum is a god send, I often find a lot of forums are "sufferer exclusive", including for my own issues, which is perfectly fine and I completely get it, but I think it's vital for supporters, whatever the relationship may be, to have somewhere to talk. I had to care for my mother during a very bad bout of depression and panic disorder and you feel so isolated and like nobody ever understands. Places like these help you realise you're not alone and it just lifts so much of the burden.

This is especially useful as so much of the problems surrounding mixed messages, complete character changes and very sudden connection severing that it's extremely difficult to understand. I wish I'd found it much sooner into my SO/ex-SO's trauma spiral, I feel it would have saved a lot of hurt for us both and we'd not have the distance between us we do now.

 

[Slh64]

Based on my experience with my vet, he never meant it it but rather was just overwhelmed with a plet...

SIDENOTE RESPONSE:
What if the sufferer wants to be with them so badly, even after numerous fights and break up threats from sufferer and supporter. Even if the sufferer needs to sort it out themselves, isn't being alone and separated even more so from the world harmful? Especially if a diagnosis of PTSD just came about and the sufferer has no one else to turn to.

 

[Netsy]

My retired combat vet broke up with me days ago. To sum up the whole story he started having feelings f...

Hi Tenessa, I agree with all advise on above, WE who have PTSD and PTSD C can be hard work in relationships with our family and friends, - my family know that and I cant actually have a relationship with a man and its so hard to communicate with anyone really as they dont understand me - I find myself draining and exhausting to them all. Maybe your man may have left you because he doesnt want to be YOUR baggage for you to carry, and maybe out of respect to you he has probably done that by telling you its over. There are support groups out there who can help you through this if you want to ? PTSD is a mental illness we have with us for a lifetime, it cant be managed by an aspirin to take it away. We live with it everyday and without any notice it can be like an epileptic fit - we surprise ourselves in bazaar situations, and have nightmares most nights. We can have outbursts for no reason. So maybe its a blessing in disguise for you to just carry on with your own life, that way you know if he doesnt come back to you - then you wouldnt have wasted your life. Take care and all the best :-) blessings from the universe

 

[knj2015]

SIDENOTE RESPONSE:
What if the sufferer wants to be with them so badly, even after numerous fights and br...

Good question. I'd like to know what others think on this one as I feel the same.