When is the right time to tell someone about ptsd in a relationship?

[Cannottakethis]

Definitely agree with @The Albatross about not mixing work and dating. No matter how clever you think you're being, everyone knows; one fight and it becomes awkward and if you break up even more so. I've done it and seen it.
@Bristol i don't know how you have kept thAt to yourself. I'm impressed on one hand, and on the other I know I couldn't ever pull that off.

 

[EveHarrington]

@Bristol how did you pull that off? Just curious. My symptoms are pretty obvious so I'm clueless how anyone could hide PTSD from a partner. Not to sound rude but if there's a decreased functioning component to PTSD, how could you have the disorder yet be able to hide it from a life partner?

 

[Bristol]

Ive had to hide it all my life, my parents and abuser made it so id never tell anyone even if i wanted to, my husband knows i struggle alot with anxiety, that i dont sleep, that i have nightmares and strange ways about things etc but he doesnt have any knowledge of ptsd so would never put the two together, i was the exact same when i met him so he has nothing to compare my behaviour against, it might be unavoidable one day but take each day as it goes.

 

[Socha]

No matter how clever you think you're being, everyone knows; one fight and it becomes awkward and if you break up even more so. I've done it and seen it.

It has nothing to do with me being clever - even though I AM or course :D. It's just circumstances that I'm ok with even in case we'd break up and I would be ok if people knew we're dating or not dating anymore as long as he keeps his mouth shut about my personal stuff. I'm also not that kind of person who holds grudges against my ex partners and my ex guys seem to be grown-up about a fight or break-up too.
I also think we're handling stuff like this a little bit different here. It's probably like nudity on TV or prostitution: not that big a deal :giggle:. I've read on this forum that employers in the US can even prohibit relationships at work which seems way too restrictive to me. It's none of my employers business who I'm dating as long as we're not making out in front of customers and co-workers.

 

[Socha]

But I do agree, that it can get tricky. Especially if one is the supervisor. Been there, done that... We managed to handle it professionally until we found another solution though.

 

[EveHarrington]

Ive had to hide it all my life, my parents and abuser made it so id never tell anyone even if i wanted...

Ahh ok. You hide the diagnostic label. Understood! Thanks for clarifying.

 

[Socha]

It didn't work out in the end. Not because of work or PTSD and we're both ok with the friendzone :)

 

[Anarchy]

I guessed by your absence from the forum, that things must have been going well for you out in the physical world:tup:. Sorry that it didn't work out as a romance:(

Looks like you still made a good choice though, for you to be able to be friends now:hug:.

Good luck with the thesis :):hug:
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