Poll Who Do You Let Close?

[nessa3]

My sister is the one I trust the most...I find it easier to talk more openly to a therapist because she isn't connected anywhere else in my life...I can easily break that relationship if things aren't going well. Don't like sharing deep personally things with anyone close relationally who can use it against me.

I've tried over and over again to be open and vulnerable ...the worst was a church.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I was very naïve, vulnerable, desperately needy and ignorant of the ways of the world so I tried to be everyones friend.

Not anymore. Some friends I have a very deep bond with, some friends I watch carefully and do not confide in them.

I am not very trusting of people anymore and I do not talk about PTSD with people anymore. I learned a long time ago that I alone was responsible for my own recovery and healing. I do not explain myself to be understood anymore.

People have to earn my trust now. I go by this one saying, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I am not very tolerant of unhealthy people anymore. People have agendas and it gets really tricky so I tend to keeping a few friends and my family close to me.

 

[Abigail]

I don't really let anybody close. It's a bit complicated, because I have a lot of love to offer people and I try to support and love everybody I meet because I will never know what they have gone through and if they really just need a friend. However I never let people close to me: emotionally, I just do not get attached to people anymore. I hate having to talk about myself, especially talking about what I have suffered through, with people.I am fully accepting if people want to open up to me and let me in, and I will never break that trust. But for myself, I just can't let people close.
Now, online forums are a bit different. A lot of my friends I have met online, and I care about them super much. But I don't trust that people care about me. I will tell my online friends anything, and I love them to bits, but I wouldn't really call that "letting them close." Basically, I always keep an emotional barrier so that I can't be hurt by people again: I always expect them to tell me off and leave me behind forever. I never feel safe around people.


Animals are a complete other thing :roflmao: I feel significantly closer to animals than with people. I guess because I've never had a horse kick me because they "didn't like me" or a dog ignore me because I "talk funny" (I have a slight stutter from my PTSD). I can feel a bit of comfort and safety with animals as well.

 

[Changing4Best]

Jesus, who was not an option on the poll, but certainly one of my answers, the first person I thought of today when I looked here today.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I said "everybody" and "nobody".

I'll tell anyone anything, so they think I'm letting them close (when i'm really not).

I don't feel truly close to anyone, to be honest.

 

[RockChick]

Only Jesus. I don't even feel as much for my pets as I once did.

 

[InvisibleSun]

Therapist, partner, and very few friends. And even then I don't trust them 100%. I always keep a safe distance. Minimizes the risk of being hurt.

 

[ShereenUSA]

I can only trust my "life story" in full detail with my spouse who was also the victim of a very rough chi...

"Animals I trust, at this point people not so much." That is exactly how I feel!

Here is my opinion:

Most people are vultures that feed on the energy of other people, to some extent, more or less, because they are not getting it from the true source - nature! They are the most "unnatural" of all animals ... and it all has to do with the lack of morals and spiritual beliefs so prevalent these days ... with resulting lies, burglaries, deceit, and bad intentions. "They see wealth with their eyes only!"

The only people I completely trust is truly spiritual people, the honest souls with good intentions for all of mankind, all animals and bugs, the earth and everything that lives - I trust myself completely because I never want to harm anyone or anything. I have compassion for myself and everything around me. I believe in karma at the core of my being, not just some words that I'm spouting out to impress others. I know the truth, and none of us are meant to harm others. We are all god's creatures, not just people, but everything, including the trees and the bacterias that live in and on us (when do they get a "thank you"? hehe).

This is a great site that I have happened upon. Maybe I will take the opportunity to vent about the atrocities that caused my PTSD, and my resulting symptoms, in time.

 

[Gadgie]

I'm never go allow anyone to get close to me again, I've been treated so badly by people who I thought I could trust, my confidence has been totally shot!

In fact I don't think I will ever be in any kind of relationship again in my life.

 

[Friday]

Ticked other, because I think I'm in transition.

What I would like to believe is family, partner, established friends. But to be brutally honest, at best, even my closest relationships are 1 arm's distance at the moment & for some time (several years). My family only gets at most 1/3 of me, my established friends are separated by distance & time, & Im refusing to even f*ck around much less date at present... So no partner. New friends I actively push away when they close. Some do manage to sneak under the concertina wire. Stubborn bastards. LOL. So we shall see. I'm also making an effort with these new people, I suck at it, but am trying. So shall see x2.

I tend to love very freely, & very deeply. But that's an outward thing. The allowing people inward is something that needs practice.

It's taken me a long time to sort out that difference. People who've had my heart have complained for years I'm hard as f*ck to get close to, and I've never understood what they meant. I've loved the hell out of them, how much closer can one get? Oh. Inward/outward. Check.

Some of the distance is good/healthy, however. My child gets Mom/Mentor, which is a very narrowly confined aspect of myself. As it should be to my way of thinking. My family are good people, we love each other very much, but some gulfs aren't meant to cross. I'm okay with that. The distance that's there allows us to be as close as we are. Trying to ask more of a relationship than is possible? From experience will destroy that relationship. So looking at it logically? I'm deeply happy with what I do have with them. Hasn't always been the case. But I would rather have 1/3 than none, and I've gone that route of pushing boundaries in the past, to my misfortune. I've learned to not ask more of them than they can give.

So some distance is as it should be. The rest of it is me, and needs working on.

 

[watundah]

It depends on whether you ask them...or me! My spouse claims I keep her at less of a distance than anyone but still closed off. I think Im open to my therapist but still keep her at a distance because the one way relationship bugs me, even though I know why it has to be that way. Friends. ..conveniently everyone loves to talk about themselves which takes the focus off of me! So I get defensive if my spouse prods too much but Id be lost without her. I do share everything with her despite what she says.

 

[InvisibleSun]

I guess my boyfriend..but i always keep a part of myself distant. Same way with friends and family..i hate the vulnerability that comes with trust, so i never completely trust anybody. Im always so emotionally guarded. I've pushed so many people away because i can't trust their love.