Who Else Lives In The Fog?

[Life_in_the_Mist]

As you might guess from my name, I have almost constant depersonalization and derealization. I have been in the fog since I was 13 and I am 27 now. I think I have achieved so little in my life because, um, i haven't really been in my life. A robot-me had been going through the motions, sometimes fooling others around me quite well, other times breaking down. People tell me they like me but they have never met me, only my "happy front." I have no idea where "true me" is...behind the fog I guess...

So...anyone have something similar going on? Stories? Coping/healing methods? Does your real self ever emerge? Does the fog clear?

 

[Abstract]

Hi Lifinthemist,

My name also relates to dissociation. I felt and feel like an abstract concept of me. Like I am a figment of my own imagination. ;) And yes, I have been constantly misty for as long as I can remember and am pretty sure I was before that too from anecdotal evidence.

I am much more concrete than I was and as a result of a lot of hard work. Most helpful have been mindfulnesss and constant work staying connected and aware as well as work on who I am and what I believe in; what my values are etc. I also think developing boundaries and assertiveness skills helped as well as learning to protect myself in life.

Welcome.

 

[JustBe]

Without my dog to constantly bring me back to the now I'd still be living in the fog.I get what you're saying. It sucks to always feel lost and on the outside of life.

 

[Life_in_the_Mist]

Thanks Abstract and Movin' On. Abstract, I have found mindfulness to make a big difference too. It brings you into the present which is kind of the opposite of what dissociation does.

Movin' on I am glad your dog is so helpful. I am finding that I also have to constantly bring myself to the present with varying degrees of sucess. But it is worthwhile work.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome, Lifeinthemist! You have found a very special place to 'let out', vent, express, and question issues that concern you!

You describe well how I lived for at least the first half of my life. 'Mindfulness' is a word that does describe in part one of the ways to feel and become 'more real'. Instead of spending so much time 'in my head', being mindful, as in 'present in the moment', has helped me learn to observe my feelings, which helps me slow down and not make the 'snap' & emotional decisions that I made when I was younger, and 'living in the fog'.

Take your time, read about other people's stories, and I think you will find that you are not alone. I hope you will find some positive tools, and information here!

Blessings & Peace to you,

AKJ

 

[ashdawn8287]

I relate to every word. You said that perfectly. Slow down you will eventually get to your real self. Take time getting to know yourself again. You will appreciate this when it happens.

I am a big yoga enthusiasm after trying it and it making me feel better and be present. It took a lot of small steps that led to practicing yoga. It is my secret happy place. Now I am more in my happy place than my dissociation place. You come back into your body. Its great.

 

[stuff]

I've been talking with my therapist a lot about the fog lately. It can be really rough. I feel like I do ok for a couple weeks even and then blammo out of nowhere, I'm totally disconnected, like everything is happening far away and I can quite reach it. It's hard to plan your week when you don't know what your are gonna get in three hours or tomorrow morning.

 

[Thinkingman85]

I can relate. I have been dissociated for a long time. I remember once feeling normal. My brain is starting to reconnect, but when the connection is made, the mind and body freak out. I've been relaxing and letting the process happen. Sooner or later, I'll feel comfortable again.

 

[who am i kim]

My name also reflects the fog I have lived since childhood. I would like to know the real me one day? Some days the fog is thicker than others, just depends on what is happening. I could not tell you what life with out the fog is. To me it is a normal part of me.

 

[Padfoot]

It's been a tough journey so far. At first I just felt numb, I was very busy selling the house and organising cleaners, removalists, real estates, solicitors relating to the sale of the house, all from a different town. Finding new specialists for my daughter who has Autism, enrolling her in a new school, working with the police, there was no time to stop and think and try to make sense of it all. Then things seemed like they were going ok, I was going out places without becoming anxious, attended various things at the school as a parent helper (which is not the side I normally work on) and was laughing and smiling. Then out of the blue the cop rang and said they made an arrest. Since then I've been jumpy, on edge, skittish, and that's been my life for the last few months. I barely leave the house, panic when the dog barks, have intense anxiety just doing school drop off and pick up and I never go in aymore. It's like for a brief time, it was as though it never happened, then reality hit again. I don't know how to get past it, but am hoping to learn ways to cope.

 

[Sterre]

To me, the fog, or depersonalisation, has a close relationship to hyperarrousal and anxiety. I get "foggy" and disconnected when I have anxiety for a long period of time. A half year ago I was diagnosed with a saliva tumor, and the whole proces was a huge trigger for my PTSD symptoms to arise again ( the tumor is out, an d everything is fine again, except for my CPTSD symptoms). I suffer mostly from anxiety and hyperarrousal, and these two symptoms do wear me out, make me dissapear in a fog, and leave me feeling very disconnected and surreal at times.

 

[silently suffering]

I know exactly how you feel. Its like your there floating around in your mind unable to pick a spot to land so to speak. I feel like this constantly. Its really bad when something triggers me, I have experienced a loss of time and place, not knowing how I got somewhere or not knowing where I was even though it was a familiar place. When its a really bad triger I feel like I'm gonna faint, that tunel vision sort of thing. It helps me to touch different types of textures, like feeling the difference between the roughness of the couch and the smoothness of a coffee table. Sometimes it helps to look around the room and say the color of everything in it...anything to connect yourself to the hear and now.